dc Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady's Ponytail Is The Most Important Football News Of The Week
Lockout? Mediation? Who gives a shit. Brady's wearing a scrunchie!...

German Fan Violence Turns Underwhelming Soccer Match Into Overwhelming Soccer Scene
Today's Bundesliga match between Kaiserslautern and Frankfurt had all the makings of an exercise in excessive boredom. Frankfurt hasn't scored in eight games; Kaiserslautern hasn't won a match in 2011....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

Your Filth-Laden Deadspin Oscar Preview
Did you know one of the nominated movies on Sunday night is a disgusting Greek film that features hardcore incest? I did not. That's why I roped in Leitch to do a drive-by Deadcast previewing this year's ceremony, which is sure to be boring and stupid and contain any number of needless musical inter...

Sepp Blatter Never Met A Disaster He Couldn't Exploit
When we named Sepp Blatter one of the 10 worst men in sports earlier this month, we were being kind. Blatter's repugnance extends well beyond sports. He runs FIFA like a Swiss bank, hoovering up billions of dollars and disbursing them in ways that remain as mysterious as they sound dubious. And all ...

Baron Davis Traded To Cleveland, Some 2,300 Miles Away From Donald Sterling's Taunts
Clippers guard Baron Davis, who has averaged 12.8 points and 7 assists this season — with some credit due to Blake Griffin's ability to finish close to the basket — is headed to Cleveland, along with a first-round draft pick. The Cavs are sending Mo Williams and Jamario Moon. Davis, who is nursing a...

Sri Lanka's Cricket World Cup Song Banned For Promoting Whale Mutilation
Did you know? The World Cup for cricket, the second most popular sport in the world, is underway in India. The 43-day tournament runs through April 2. Did you also know? The festive song above is what it sounds like to say "let's feed the Australian kangaroos cheap bird grain" in Sinhala, the Sri ...

Foolish New York Assemblyman Makes MMA In New York More Dangerous
Way back when (circa 2000), MMA was banned in many states. In the places where it was legal, the bloodsport was regulated with varying degrees of competency. Today, the MMA map looks quite different as sanctioning and better rules have spread across the land. With one notable holdout....

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....

Customs Workers Destroy $10,000 Jersey
When Swiss sports memorabilia collector Olivier Démoli ponied up $10K for a jersey worn by French player David Trezequet in the 1998 World Cup final vs. Brazil, the rarity of the item made the purchase worthwhile....

Yes, The Cavaliers Are Favored To Win Tonight
Lost in all the foofaraw over the Cavs' 25-game losing streak is the fact that, hey, there are some other terrible teams in the NBA. Like the Pistons! With a 6-21 road record, and probably without the services of Rip Hamilton, they're actually the underdogs going into tonight's game at the Q. For dr...

The Cavaliers Make Baby Jesus Cry
So it's come to this. Twenty-five straight games, without even once stumbling into a higher score than their opponent's. That's statistically improbable, even with a depth chart like this....

Human Knees Do Not Bend That Way
Your morning roundup for Feb. 8, the day we were shanked to death by our own cock....

Counterpoint: But People Look Really Sad When They Can't Get Their Super Bowl Seats
This young cheesehead cried (video here, H/T reader Patrick) when he, along with 399 others, could not get into last night's Super Bowl. He cries for the others, young and old, left out in the Arlington cold. They will leave Super Bowl XLV with $2,400, tickets to next year's Super Bowl, and nothing...

This Is What Happens When You Get Caught Stealing Someone's Shovel During A Blizzard (Video)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. ...

NBA Player Served With Child Support Papers At Halftime Of A Game
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...

Jewish Hockey Player Sues Anaheim Ducks Alleging Anti-Semitic Harassment
Jason Bailey signed a three-year contract with the Ducks organization in 2008. They assigned him to play for the minor league Bakersfield Condors where, he claimed in a lawsuit filed Tuesday, he "was subject to severe and/or pervasive harassment."...