dea Page 499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Can You Keep A Secret? We're Trying To Organize A Prison Break
Oh Mr. Harris! Don't touch us! Mr. Bob Harris! Just rip our stocking!...
Notes From The "Underground"
We would like to take a moment to salute commenters Christ Sabo (who first posited the idea) and twoeightnine (for his brilliant, terrifying designs), along with the rest of you — we particularly liked this MDT post — for your mad, breathtaking work on the ESPN Radio "underground" email from yesterd...
"You Down With Brandon Inge?"
We've logged some pretty outstanding fan song remixes, including the rather epic "Sweet Shaun Alexander," which even made deceased members of Lynyrd Skynyrd roll over in their graves, and they're still drunk....
Your Early Round Pants Party Winners
You might remember last week, when Tiger Woods was shaking his Hootie thing around these parts. Well, we promised then that we had five versions of that thar video game to give away to the top five finishers in Pants Party League, and now we're here to pay up....
An Update On Commenting
A while back, we told you about our new commenting system, and how if you were not a registered commenter, you could submit a comment and if it met the standards set by The Commentist Manifesto, you'd be approved and your comments would start showing up....
Week In Deadspin: What The Fungus??!!
• Jeez, lady, just hush already. • It was very sunny in Philadelphia last Sunday. • A tragedy in New York. • Soccer's Buckner. • Maybe the Vikings will spend their off week on a band bus. • Albert Pujols, enjoying the hometown product in a visually disturbing way. • So this is why Brett Favre won'...
We Love Hitmen: No Matter What You Do To Them, You Don't Feel Bad
The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town. We're staring at a goddess. She's telling us she wants us. We're not going to waste one more minute wondering how we've gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman ... the Goddess. Goldie. ...
Week In Deadspin: Gotta Support The Team!
• GOOOO WILDCATS!!! • Do not playl Madden with these people, ever. • Official Drink Like A Champion garb. • Aren't you glad we brought this video back into your lives? • We just missed Pac Man Jones' shindig. • Anything fun going on in Philadelphia this weekend? • Your gambling days are just about o...
Thank God For The Rain To Wash The Trash Off The Sidewalk
Now we see this clearly. Our whole life is pointed in one direction. There has never been a choice for us....
Us Against The Music
Little housecleaning matter here: Tomorrow night, right before the Tigers begin securing their 2-0 ALDS lead on the Yankees — sorry — we will be reading things aloud. Using our voice, and perhaps some spackle....
Week In Deadspin: All Terrell, All Carl, All The Time
• Anybody hear any Terrell Owens news this week? • Good night, completely useless, prohibitively expensive and arrogant mobile phone. • Heads up! • That it does, friend, that it does. • We'll never forget you, Janky Spanky. • My Lord, there's a beetle in my brain! • "Thick in the britches." • Not ...
This Is It, Joel: It's Going To Be Gone Soon
Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss....
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...
Week In Deadspin: How Much Are Tickets At RFK Again?
• A brother's remembrances. • Football can be extremely violent, and if you're not careful, you'll —- HUGH! • We knew the beer at RFK Stadium was bad, but this is ridiculous. • It's probably not a good idea, in general, to be Joey Porter's neighbor. • Whatever it takes to fire Americans up about t...
Satan, Your Ass Is Gigantic And Red; Who Are We Going To Pretend You Are? Liza Minnelli?
You know what sucks about being a Baldwin? NOTHING!...
Son, This In No Way Reflects On My Own Past Athletic Frustrations
In the grand tradition of the egg fertilizers of Mary Pierce and Todd Marinovich, we present Frank Colavecchia, the father of Rocco Colavecchia, a quarterback for Shenango High School in New Castle, Penn. Last week, Frank posed as a scout from Ohio University — to get into character, we suspect he...
Week In Deadspin: Clap Your Hands Say "Cough"
• If you can't punch a bouncer for yelling at you for bringing underage girls into a bar, jeez, what's the point of playing quarterback? • Everybody get fired up about your prostate! • It's not barking anymore: Now Browns fans steal your wheels. And then they poop on towels! • "Hey, Rob!" • You know...
Rollo Tomasi ...
It's Christmas Eve in the City of Angels ... while decent citizens sleep the sleep of the righteous, hopheads prowl for marijuana, not knowing that a man is coming to stop them! Celebrity crimestopper Jack Vincennes, scourge of grasshoppers and dope fiends everywhere!...
A Slight Change In The Commenting Rules (Don't Worry, It'll Be Fine)
As anyone who has ever spent longer than five minutes around these parts knows, we have the best commenters on the planet. We have yet to make a joke that's funnier than about 10-15 comments that show up in the first five minutes after making a post. We've made our peace with this; we never thought ...