Week In Deadspin: All Terrell, All Carl, All The Time

• Anybody hear any Terrell Owens news this week? • Good night, completely useless, prohibitively expensive and arrogant mobile phone. • Heads up! • That it does, friend, that it does. • We'll never forget you, Janky Spanky. • My Lord, there's a beetle in my brain! • "Thick in the britches." • Not even Jesus is a match for the Madden Curse. • Where would we be without the Bengals? Seriously? Where? • Jason Whitlock is lucky to be alive. • Hey, everything's cool in New Orleans now. Nice. • "You're the investigative reporter, Carl: You tell me."

This is one of those weekends when you realize that sports cause nothing from pain: We can just tell.

The Mighty MJD will be around to document it all for you ... and we'll back on Monday, doing our very best not to cry.