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Deadspin Up All Night: Whisper, Then Scream
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll have a bit more later. Enjoy your evening....

San Diego Chargers Assistant Coach Cris Dishman Needs Help Tracking Down Lomas Brown, Doesn't Like Being Called A "Heavy Drinker"
Cris Dishman is an ex-NFL player, two-time Pro Bowler and current assistant secondary coach for the San Diego Chargers. Cris is upset with former Detroit Lion, and current analyst, Lomas Brown because Brown called Dishman and his wife "heavy drinkers" in a segment of his Dan Le Betard interview tha...

Portland's Quipster Cop: Lightsaber Edition
We first met officer Pete Simpson a few weeks ago when he was cracking wise about Ndamukong Suh's driving style. Officer Simpson is back in the news following a (possibly mentally ill) prospective Jedi, elegantly—and not at all clumsily or randomly—got nuts in a Toys R Us with a lightsaber. After a...

Santa Claus, Guy Fawkes And A Cowboys Fan Walk Into A Bar
Your morning roundup for Dec. 16, the day we learned to set some goals. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Spit Your Game, Talk Your Shit
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Lovesick College Kid Turns Down Historic Lay
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Santa Wears Ralph Lauren, Seems Uncomfortable Sitting Among Riffraff Falcons Fans
Your morning roundup for Dec. 16, the day we learned not to start a fan page on Facebook when no one likes you. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Yack
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This Young Penguins Fan Is Devastated By His Parents' Unabashed Support Of The Red Wings
Your morning roundup for Dec. 15, the day we learned the hypocrisy of Internet piracy. Video from 96.1 Kiss FM, via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Chat
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. You made it through Wednesday!...

Tebowmania Produces Its First Cool Artifact
Your morning roundup for Dec. 14, the day we learned how to legally maim your children. Image via TecmoBowl.org (H/T Owen Good). Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Finally, A Turkish Street Fight Set To An "Eye Of The Tiger" Score
The guy in the white turtleneck. Yeah, that one. He has some problems in this little Turkish traffic to-do, what with his inability to land a 1) punch or 2) acrobatic sidekick without getting dropped to the street. A soul-crushing defeat, to be sure. Took his time. Took his chances. Ended up laid ...

Bro Charged With DWI After Crashing Muscle Car Into "Booze It And Lose It" Police Command Center
"A Hickory (NC) man is facing multiple charges, including DWI, after slamming into a DWI mobile command center Sunday morning. Law enforcement officers were conducting a DWI checkpoint when a 1989 red Chevy Camaro rammed into the back of the 'Booze it and Lose it' mobile unit. People were inside th...

Deadspin Up All Night: Talk For Hours
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Talk like you're paying top-dollar at 1-800-REALITY. Hickey, who will be here shortly, won't judge you....
![Readers: Help This Nice Lady Have The Michigan Wedding Of Her Dreams [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4q4q6l8w9ujpg.jpg)
Readers: Help This Nice Lady Have The Michigan Wedding Of Her Dreams [UPDATE]
An unnamed female reader of Deadspin writes in:...

The <em>Postmortal</em> Live Holiday Funbag
All right, we did this once before and it didn't end with Sarah Silverman crying, so let's close out the year with one more live funbag. I'll be here answering your questions from 1 till 4. You know where to send them. Put LIVE FUNBAG in the subject line. I'll get through as many as I can. And if yo...

Tarvaris Jackson Honors The Age-Old Tradition Of The No-Look Shotgun-Snap Catch
Your morning roundup for Dec. 13, the day we learned even babies know you're full of shit. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Walk On By
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. If there's anything worth watching more than once in tonight's miserable MNF game, Burke will have the highlights for you....

The Cowboys' Season, In One Jason Garrett Facepalm
Your morning roundup for Dec. 12, the day we learned the benefits of prison sojourns. Photo via Ryan W. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

Brandon Jacobs Likes To Dance Dirty
It was bad enough that Brandon Jacobs elected to dance on the star in the Cowboys end zone, but the manner in which the Giants running back got jiggy appeared to be his attempt at eroticism. It gave New York a short-lived lead, and at the half Dallas leads 17-15....