dead Page 264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Legends Like Bill Mazeroski Are Made In October, And Sometimes They Swing By Your Grandparents' House For Lunch
Your morning roundup for Oct. 20, the day Quaddafi was killed. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Week In Frozen Armadillo Attack News
"According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal. The pair apparently began arguing over the price of the item when the man twice threw the armadillo at the woman. The animal first struck the woman in the leg...

The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...

Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...

Why, Yes, An Angry Hockey Fan In Boston Did Throw An Empty Liquor Bottle On The Ice Last Night
Your morning roundup for Oct. 19, the day we just laughed at Ohio, again and again. Photo via @emptynetters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Flash Mob Was Canceled, But Nobody Told Stuart Scott, Trent Dilfer, And Steve Young
Your morning roundup for Oct. 18, the day those dastardly criminal penguins got away with it. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Won't You Help The Man With The 100-Pound Scrotum?
The Las Vegas Review-Journal today brings us the heartbreaking story of one Wesley Warren Jr., who just three years ago possessed a scrotum as normally sized as yours or mine. (Click here for video.) But something happened, something doctors can't explain. Suffering from scrotal elephantiasis, Warr...

Dan Wheldon Spent His Last Night Talking To George Maloof And Getting His And Hers Tattoos With His Wife
Poor, poor Dan Wheldon. The IndyCar driver died in a miserable, fiery wreck yesterday, leaving behind a wife and two young sons. Awful stuff. And this was before we found out that he spent his last night alive in the company of a Maloof before getting some tattoos....

Strip-Search Demanded At World Scrabble Championship To Find Letter "G"
It may come as news to most of the universe that the World Scrabble Championships took place last week, and ended yesterday when Nigel Richards of New Zealand defeated Aussie Andrew Fisher, 3-2. Richards ended the five-day tournament with 95 points on the word "omnified"—which, as proof that humans ...

The Stats May Or May Not Show That Dez Bryant Played His Ass Off, But This Photo Does
Your morning roundup for Oct. 17, the day the headline "Used Condom-Collecting Women Charged In Alleged Sex Attack Spree" caught our attention. H/T to Adam for the Dez Bryant photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Chip Kelly And Erin Andrews Want You To Shut Up When They're Speaking
Your morning roundup for Oct. 16, the day we learned that people can actually be crueler to others than we'd imagined they could. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Steven Seagal Will Keep America Safe From Invading Mexicans
"Seagal, 59, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office newest deputy. The sheriff's office said he'll be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border. 'It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,' Sheriff Arvin West s...

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Story About A Shoving Match In Pakistan's Parliament Includes Footage Of Other Legislative Fisticuffs
According to Pakistan Today, "Saner elements in the National Assembly (NA) blocked the way of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) and the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) parliamentarians on Tuesday as they tried to physically assault each other in fits of anger following the fiery speech of Op...

Superhero Phoenix Jones Went To Court In Seattle Today And Shared With The World His True Identity
"During the hearing Thursday, a court officer asked Jones to remove his mask and he complied. He also wore a superhero uniform under a button-down shirt. Prosecutors told a judge they would need more time to decide whether to file charges in the case. Jones put his mask back on after the hearing t...

Great Sex Can Literally Blow Your Mind And Wipe Your Memory Clean
According to a case study in the September issue of the Journal of Emergency Medicine, a husband was so good at pleasuring his 54-year-old wife, she temporarily couldn't remember the previous 24 hours—a condition called transient global amnesia....

Pete Carroll Pleads With LeBron, Because Apparently The Seahawks Need His Help To Underachieve
Your morning roundup for Oct. 13, the day we learned just how dangerous some sex toys can be. Photo via @PeteCarroll. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
