dead Page 266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jon Gruden's Bulge Was Showing Before Last Night's Game
Your morning roundup for Oct. 4, the day we learned where we live made us sick. H/T to Chris. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tony Siragusa Is A Big Fan Of Jay Feely's Biceps
Your morning roundup for Oct. 3, the day we learned of insect civil wars. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26
Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Drunk Lady Took Golf Cart To CVS To Buy A Scarecrow And Bottle Of Canadian Mist
Some narc motorist in Chesterton, Ind. saw a 57-year-old lady named Jacqueline Hamilton swerving all over the road in a golf cart Wednesday night. He tried to intervene on society's behalf with some real talk, "but she wasn't very polite to him." As such, law was contacted....

This Week In News About Werewolves
"According to a Conway (Ark.) Police Department incident report, the subject kicked open the front door of a student's residence at Carrington Apartments on Cleveland Avenue, ran through the apartment and exited by jumping from the two-story balcony. ... The subject stated that a 'large beast,' whi...

Snoop Dogg Requests The Pleasure Of Ryan Giggs And Gareth Bale's Company At His Upcoming Show
The similarities are amazing, to the mind of one Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr....

Listen To The Longest Soccer Goal Call Without A Pause Ever
Your morning roundup for Oct. 1, the day the nanny state says you're no longer allowed to legally fornicate with animals in Florida. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pussyblocked By Tom Waits!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...

Let's Watch A Soccer Goalie's Epic Fail At Attempting A Clearing Pass
Your morning roundup for Sept. 30, the day we we laughed at Florida, again and always. Video via Goal 100. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills
Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspap...

Watch Harold Reynolds And Dan Plesac React To Last Night's Baseball Games Like The Rest Of Us Did
Your morning roundup for Sept. 29, the day we learned rotting fruit was an aphrodisiac. Video via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Let's Watch A Dutch Guy Scare The Living Hell Out Of A Chinese Guy On The Subway
This video's called "Chinese vs Brawl Dutch (FIGHT)." Though it's difficult to understand what, exactly, is being said and disappointing how, exactly, they back away from the brink without resorting to violence, it's oddly mesmerizing to see Chinese get in the wrong Brawl Dutch's face....

The Additional Rules For How To Cheer Like A St. Louis Rams Fan
Your morning roundup for Sept. 28, the day we learned firewater was real. Video, which is a parody of this, via Joe Sports Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's The "Wasted Man's Nightmare Stuck In A Funhouse" Video You Won't Regret Watching
The good folks over at Sharapova's Thigh sent along this mesmerizing footage of the most accurate depiction of a carnival-setting bad trip mine eyes have ever seen. It's the laughter. That judging laughter. Stop the kaleidoscopic mayhem....

Today In Exploding Toilets News
"Authorities say a woman was taken to a local hospital after a toilet she was using exploded at the General Services Administration Building in Washington, D.C. Fire and EMS spokesman Pete Piringer says the woman has serious, but non-life-threatening injuries. Piringer says when D.C. Fire and EMS ...

Screw You, And Screw Your Man Card
I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic l...

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...
