dead Page 328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Mitt
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Junkyard Dog
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Junkyard Dog, who died in a one-car accident in 1998....

This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...

"Tall Pitcher and Short Stop." This Fall On NBC!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Do You Have An Internship Horror Story? We Want To Hear It
Oh, the joys of being an intern: Calling in lunch orders, mind-numbing filing, licking envelope after envelope. Summer is coming, so chances are some of you readers are embarking on prestigious internships to learn the tricks of your chosen trade....

All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....

Michael Jordan Likes A Little More Lebensraum In His Hanes
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Canadian Porn Ads Teach Valuable Lesson About Truth in Advertising
These have nothing to do with sports, but they're extremely funny and today is somewhat slow, so there. Pretty SFW, but you should be at home on a Sunday evening anyway. Your family misses you....

Coach Unaware He's Mimicking Dance Squad's Every Move
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hockey
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Does "Die Hard Cards Fan" Have To Spell It Out For You?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

News Anchor Asks, "So She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More?"
At the end of a segment on a "the G-shot", ABC 26 anchor Michael Hill asked reporter Catherine Shreves a question that made it quite apparent he has no idea how banter works. Video after the jump....

Vegas Train War! Another L.A.-To-Vegas Train Will Get Gamblers There Slower, But Drunker
Alissa Walker over at Fast Company brings us news today of an intriguing development in train travel and degeneracy. Click through to read....

Texas Fan Celebrates His New Souvenir With A Double-Barreled Salute
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Man Gets Hit By Car, Doesn't Drop Baby In His Arms
This incredible video shows Australian Andrew Leitch getting his legs crushed by a runaway car, but somehow holding on to his four-month son, who was completely unharmed. A few NFL teams could use a pair of hands like that. [CBS6/DailyIQ]...

Even More Pukey, Poopy, And Sexy Sorority Formal Action
Miami University's Alpha Xi Delta sorority has gotten themselves into some hot water of their own over their own outrageous, sex 'n' booze-infused soiree at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center this past March. [Cincinnati.com, Homer247.com]...

The Mets Know How To Seize, Uh ... An Opportunity
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....