deadspin Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not Many People Have Basements In California
Wethinks our friend is a tad fuckered in the head....
ESPN Should Have More Roasts
• Come on, we gotta find that Jacobson video. • Fun with the Utah Jazz on New Years Eve. • Stephen A. Smith, pundit. • Wait, Norv Turner is a genius now? • ESPN supports their troops. • Phone sex. • T.O. cries! • ESPN comments will get you a job. • MITT ROMNEY! • Donte Stallworth has a frie...
What's The Most You Ever Lost On A Coin Toss?
What's this guy supposed to be, the ultimate badass?...
Fired Up, Ready To Go
• Goodbye, Oddsmaker. • Jose Lima is indestructible. • LSU won. • Eli Manning, fired up, ready to go. • GOOSE. • Darren McFadden, scufflin'. • Joe Gibbs, hangin' 'em up. • Warren Sapp claims he hates gay porn. • Len Pasquarelli is a friendly sort. • Everyone is always wrong. • We finally got around ...
You Americans, You're All The Same. Always Overdressing For The Wrong Occasions.
Professor of archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities....
We Still Believe In Zook
• Boy, was that Rose Bowl ever fun. • Terrell Owens trademarks himself. • Wade Phillips' hot daughter might be reading this. • Smelly children. • Kerry Collins saved the Titans' season. • That hockey game ruled. • Big trouble in big China. • So was that Gisele lady there, or wasn't she? • Here comes...
We Know A Doctor Who Might Be Able To Help You
Forget about holding her hand, man. Think about the damage he could do to other places....
What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....
'Twas The Night Before December 22 ...
• Woody Paige's tough qualifications for the Hall of Fame. • Isiah introduces us to "sunt." • Elijah Dukes' December surprise. • Dolphins win! • The return of Lil Ronnie. • Michael Wilbon's tiny pals. • Paul LoDuca, dodger. • Scott Van Pelt, commencement speaker. • Jonathan Papelbon's dog rules. • H...
Deep Thunder Rolled Around Their Shores, Burning With The Fires Of Orc
They don't advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was our profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer....
Pity Poor Roger Clemens
• We remind you to keep the submissions coming for the ESPN Accountability Record. • How long is 23 months in dog years? • That bitchin' ESPN holiday party. • An outstanding Jamboroo that you might have missed in all the Mitchell Report business. • Oh, yes: That. • We hate "guarantees." • Rick Reill...
We're Finished!
Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people....
Listen Only To Those With Expertise
• Woo-hoo, another ESPN Memo! • Stephen A. Smith is so much more qualified than your stupid bloggers. • John Maine wore a dress, and then made it clear that he didn't. • "You Dead, Dawg," Deadwood-style. • The Football Guys. • Illinois in the Rose Bowl. Yipes. • Denny Green, copyrightin'! • Ashley Y...
Don't Feed Them After Midnight
Give him to us. We'll take him to the kennel, they'll put him to sleep. It will be quick and painless compared to what we would do to him. We'll catch the beast ourselves. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death. Maybe we'll put him in our spin-drier on high heat....
Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...
Where'd You Hide The Alcohol, Danny Ocean?
It's like a three thing... it's, like, ball, dick, ball. It's like a division sign... we just wish you would take those off....
Workin' On Thanksgiving
• Nick Saban is a student of history. • It's funny when sideline reporters are dropped on their head. • The Celtics aren't going undefeated. • Zoooooook. • Isiah somehow survived the week. • Thanksgiving is not that important to Ron Mexico. • We will miss Kaz Tadano. • Frank TV is here! (Briefly.) •...
We'll Be Listening To You
We know that you know, Mr. Caul. For your own sake, don't get involved any further....
If It's November, It Must Be SHOTY Time
• Welcome, 2007 SHOTY! • See Digger Phelps act. • A fun week for Aubrey Huff. • Look, the book has a cover! • Stephon Marbury fever. Catch it. • The Lambeau ... ow! • I - L - L! • Welcome "back," A-Rod. • Marching bands are cool. Really. • Down goes Oregon. • Barry. Barry. Barry....