deadspin Page 350 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
His Brain Has Not Only Been Washed, As They Say. It Has Been Dry Cleaned
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off....
A Q&A With Sen. Chris Dodd
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...
Everywhere You Look, Shirtless Kickers
• Welcome back, Harold. • We've officially come around on "The Sopranos" finale. • Lookin' sharp, Gators. • Call us, Andre. We can help. • Sorry: The Snorg Girl doesn't like you. • John Daly is the only interesting golfer. • Even cops like to make fun of Tony La Russa. • Oh, how we've missed Sinbad....
Cunnilingus And Psychiatry Brought Us To This
Leave the fucking cheese there, all right? We love fuckin' cheese at our feet! We stick motherfuckin' provolone in our socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning....
It's More Difficult To Shake Off 24 Hours Of ESPN Than One Might Think
• As if you needed proof, watching ESPN for 24 hours is a bad idea. • Cleveland celebrated its trip to the NBA Finals ... • ... and then got off to a rather rough start. • Tank Johnson is a new man. • Gene Upshaw is a smooth operator. • Eric Mangini is ACTING! • Give blood, get drunk. • Gary Sheffie...
Them Damn Burritos Ain't Good For Nothing But A Hippie, When He's High On Weed
The world's our oyster, except for the fact that we just rammed a wooden stake in our brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though we don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory....
Hey, Everybody, Pasty Fellas!
As surely anyone with a commenting account — and we remind anyone who wants one to email the Deadtern and state your case — knows by now, the ladies over at Ladies ... have posted their Hot Blogger Bracket. The whole experiment is a perfect case study in blog physics: Hold a contest that only blogge...
A Q&A With Gov. Tommy Thompson
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...
A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...
We Always Say Girl Plus Car Equals Dead Animal
We're gonna be a Deejay, man. And maybe a lumberjack....
Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
If Donnie Calls, Tell Him If It Was Gonna Be Anyone, We're Glad It Was Him
Forget about it is like, if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! You know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mi...
This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...
You're 32 Years Old, And You've Achieved Nothing. Jesus Christ Was Dead And Alive Again By 33. You Better Get Crackin'.
Think of it as a hobby. Something you do to relax. You're an "assassination enthusiast."...
Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...
With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....
We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...
We Shall Disappear Like A Nightmare Before The Breaking Day
We're everyone ... and no one. Everywhere .. nowhere. Call us ... Deadspin....
Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...
Communism Was Merely A Red Herring
Monkey brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington D.C....