dell Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ben Roethlisberger Suspended Six Games (Unless He Isn't)
NFL PR confirms that Roger Goodell will suspend the Steelers QB for six games, pending "behavioral evaluation" that could reduce/lengthen the suspension before the season starts. The question: Can he literally keep it in his pants until August? [NFL.com]...
Another Entry For The "Big Ben Is A Cockbag" File
A senior at Pitt passed along more tales about the putrid personality of the (allegedly) ashen-cocked quarterback. It turns out Roethlisberger's assholery is not reserved just for female bar patrons....
Roger Goodell Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL's Judge Dredd, who can finally claim victory in his war to take back the NFL from scum and villainy (a.k.a. Ben Roethlisberger's wang.)...
When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....
Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....
UT Hostesses Now Recruiting Bruce Pearl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Congress Gets Involved In Concussion Debate, Fails To Solve Everything
Goodell, along with NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith and other people in suits, was grilled by the House Judiciary Committee about all this stuff they've been hearing about "concussions" and "permanent brain damage." The Commish talked a great deal about all the many things the league is doing—rule chan...
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....
Never One To Seek The Spotlight, Danica Turns Down NASCAR
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Michael Vick Can Play In Week 3
Roger Goodell says Vick is working on "recognizing" his "life management skills" so he only has to sit out two games this year. And no more hard lemonade! [NFL.com]...
Narcing On Michael Vick And His Fruity Alcoholic Beverage
Vick was recently spotted sipping a fruity and legal adult beverage, a non-story in any league that isn't run by a guy who thinks he's Father Flanagan in Boys Town, which is to say, any league but Roger Goodell's NFL....
Betts, Bettis ... Whatever It Takes
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Donte' Stallworth Suspended For One Year
Roger Goodell dropped a very big hammer on Donte' Stallworth, suspending him without pay for the entire 2009 season. Goodell said: "Without regard to the merits of the disposition of the criminal case, I believe that further consequences are necessary."...
Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...
The NFL Draft Goes After <i>Grey's Anatomy</i>'s Territory
The excruciatingly long NFL Draft will expand to three days in 2010, with the first round airing Thursday, the most-watched night of television. Roger Goodell against Meredith Grey, the lead in CSI and Liz Lemon? That's a dealbreaker, ladies. [PFT]...
Does ESPN's "Do Not Report" Policy Make Any Sense?
Still not a peep from ESPN on Ben Roethlisberger's legal troubles—and once again no Blog Buzz on SportsCenter—so as long as Big Ben keeps his mouth shut they're standing behind their decision to not stand behind this story....
Michael Vick Is Free!
The ankle bracelet is off, folks! Having served his debt to society—give or take a few years of probation—Michael Vick is officially a free man. As long as your definition of "free" does not include playing football professionally....
In That Other Golf Tournament This Weekend...
Tony Romo, fresh off a breakup with his biggest fan, storms out to the lead of another celebrity get-together, while Charles Barkley is not in last. Who needs Hank Haney when you've got the modified Stableford system? [GOLF]...
Donte' Stallworth Suspended Indefinitely
Thus spake Goodell and his vengeance was swift and terrible. You do realize Stallworth's NFL punishment will likely be worse than the one he received from the State Of Florida? [Miami Herald]...