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Fox should’ve waited before it gave Tom Brady $375 million
Remember the scene in Ocean’s 11 where Brad Pitt gives Matt Damon advice before he goes undercover as a gaming warden to swindle Andy Garcia? “Be funny, but don’t make him laugh. He’s gotta like you and then forget you the moment he’s left the safe.” That’s what I want from my sports booths, and tha...
10 logical ways for Aaron Rodgers to decide his future
When I heard about Aaron Rodgers’ plan to voluntarily go into solitary confinement for four days to figure out his future, I thought he was crazy. I mean, who does this? What kind of screwed up, delusional, narcissistic, ayahuasca-gobbling asshole does this? Has he not seen a prison movie? The only ...
Even Tom Brady's thirst traps are boring
It’s Super Bowl week, and if you thought Tom Brady was going to let this week go by without being all up in your timeline...well. Just a week after announcing he’s retiring from football (you’ll never convince me he didn’t play an extra year just to stick it to Adam Schefter), Tom Brady has dropped ...
These are the worst Super Bowl matchups of all time
The epicenter of American sports is the Super Bowl. The biggest performance in music every year isn’t at the Grammys. It’s in between grown men in pads smashing into each other. Good luck Rihanna. And just because it’s two of the best teams in the NFL every year competing for a championship doesn’t ...
Tony Romo is paid too much to care
There is some comfort in knowing that the higher-ups at CBS see and hear the same things we do during their NFL broadcast. They can’t miss that Tony Romo is merely making noises like some sort of fusion between a pin and whoopee cushion and not much else. It seems they even tried to do something abo...
Is failed HC Nathaniel Hackett's presence enough to recruit Aaron Rodgers?
Nathaniel Hackett to the Denver Broncos was thought to be a way to entice Aaron Rodgers to request a trade to the Mile High city. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but it’s possible his being hired to the New York Jets’ staff is an attempt to make Gang Green — with its young stars and playoff-caliber d...
How haters should remember Tom Brady in retirement
Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. will forever be known as one of, if not the greatest quarterbacks of all time. After 23 years with New England and Tampa Bay, the three-time MVP and seven-time Super Bowl champion is hanging up his cleats, and unlike last year, I actually believe him this time....
Tom Brady’s pre-Super Bowl retirement makes things awkward for Fox’s Greg Olsen — but here’s a solution
The comeback king may finally be done, but Tom Brady’s football obituary should begin with his error of making one comeback too many. The venerable Patriots legend Tampa Bay Buccaneers mercenary-for-hire announced his retirement in a no-frills social media post on Wednesday morning....
Oh my god, they signed McKennie!
It’s transfer deadline day, and with the news that the USMNT will be in the Copa America (unless there’s some sort of qualifying disaster, which has never happened before, right?), what the members of the team do with their club teams takes on greater urgency. It’s not waiting three years anymore. T...
The Eagles must be a tool of the devil
You don’t need me to tell you that the Philadelphia Eagles, and really anything from the city of Philadelphia as a whole, are evil. The loudest guy in your office? Almost certainly from Philly, or Delaware at best. That girl you know who has a habit of puking on your shoes? Grew up on the SEPTA, whe...
Are the Jets trying to lure Aaron Rodgers to New York with Hackett hire?
The 2023 New York Jets are going to have a different quarterback than they did in 2022. I’m not a fan of the team, but even I’d be damned if the Jets opted to compete for an AFC East title with Joe Flacco, Mike White, or Zach Wilson again next year. Luckily, Gang Green is seen as the frontrunner for...
Tom tantrum: Brady gives expletive-filled response to retirement question
Tom Brady has officially entered the curmudgeon stage (of life, it would seem) after an exchange on his “Let’s Go!” podcast with Jim Gray and Larry Fitzgerald. Gray asked Brady a general question, the same one every sports outlet is asking after Tom’s 23rd season in the NFL. A simple question about ...
A passing of the torch took place this season in the demise of Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers
As the NFL community awaits Tom Brady’s decision about the next step in his career, one can’t help but notice the changing of the guard we witnessed during the 2022 season. For the first time since 2009, the divisional round of the postseason does not include a game where Brady or Aaron Rodgers is o...
Jim Harbaugh just had a cookie, he doesn't need another one
There’s a difference between “working at the pleasure” of your alma mater and holding it hostage, and Jim Harbaugh is slowly creeping toward the latter. The University of Michigan coach made an overt pass at the Vikings opening a year ago at this time, and spent parts of this offseason chatting with...
Rob Gronkowski gives Aaron Rodgers the business over MVP comment
Former Super Bowl-winning tight end Rob Gronkowski has never been shy about sharing his opinion. The four-time Super Bowl winner was on Up & Adams with Kay Adams this week, and she asked Gronk about Aaron Rodgers’ recent comments about winning more MVP awards. Rodgers said that he thinks he can win ...
America owes Max Kellerman a collective apology over his Tom Brady 'cliff theory'
In the Summer of 2016, Max Kellerman predicted that Tom Brady’s skill would fall off a cliff. “Tom Brady’s just about done. It could be his next game he plays, it could be a year from now, but he is going to fall off a cliff. Tom Brady is going to be a bum in short order.”...