dl Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Team Sky Look Shadier Than Ever After UK Parliamentary Investigation
The UK Parliament’s Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee finally released their report about doping in British sports on Monday, capping a three-year investigation. In addition to the IAAF scandal and the questionable tactics of the Nike Oregon Project, the Select Committee also looked...

Austrian Cross-County Skier Running Second Makes Wrong Turn, Finishes Ninth
Of all the ways of failing to medal in a grueling 30-kilometer cross-country race, Austrian Olympian Teresa Stadlober certainly discovered the most excruciatingly regrettable: She got lost. She took a wrong friggin’ turn and got lost. Per the Associated Press:...

Veteran Of The 1972 Olympic Basketball Debacle Ranks The <i>Other</i> Olympic Scandals<em></em>
Tom McMillen has done plenty. He had an 11-year NBA career. He was a Rhodes Scholar. He was a congressman. But, 46 years later, he’s still rankled by the absolute theft of the 1972 Olympic gold medal basketball game by the USSR, one of the biggest injustices in Olympic history. ...

Weird Statues Of The Olympics, Ranked
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea—I was supposed to cover Mikaela Shiffrin’s probably podium-worthy slalom run this morning. In the perpetual riddle of trying to predict where the bigger story will be on any given day at the Olympics, I went to the ski slopes to see Shiffrin instead of watching Shaun White’s...

Saudi Arabia Has Turned Sports Into A Public Relations Machine
In November 2016, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia decided to start investing in sports. Its government ordered the General Authority of Sports to create a Sports Development Fund, which bolstered sports activity in the country and provided financial assistance to clubs across the nation. The objectives ...

Dead Letters: "Go Back To School And Become A Christian"
Subject: You are terrible...

Your 2018 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup
Wow, what a frickin’ day. The NBA trade deadline came and passed, LeBron James traded half the players in the league for the other half, and there’s a lot of wreckage to sort through! As is tradition around here, we’re here to help out, with our in depth takes on each trade....

All 102 Winter Olympic Medal Events, Ranked
Let’s face it: Almost everyone prefers the Summer Olympics to the Winter Games. Basketball, swimming and beach volleyball are much easier sells to viewers than the likes of biathlon, skeleton and luge. The Winter Olympics also have way more time-based events, where athletes don’t directly face off a...

Report: Cavaliers Get Isaiah Thomas The Fuck Out Of Here<em></em>
After just 15 games as an active member of the Cavaliers, Isaiah Thomas is on his way out of Cleveland. ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported this morning that the Cavs were acquiring Jordan Clarkson and Larry Nance from the Lakers, with the Ringer’s Kevin O’Connor first reporting that Isaiah Thomas an...

Someone Please Stop Ernie Grunfeld From Considering This Very Stupid Trade
I can think of no harsher or more depressing condemnation of the, god, coming up on 15 years Ernie Grunfeld, a cartilage-brained nincompoop who never saw a ruinous short-sighted midseason trade he didn’t like, has spent as the head personnel honcho of the Washington Wizards than that the following s...

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Jared Dudley Brutally Fat-Shamed By Enes Kanter
Hey, remember Jared Dudley? The doughy swingman who makes the analytics crowd swoon with his sparkling net rating history? Unbelievably, the 32-year-old Dudley is still kicking around the NBA, as a seldom-used bench gnome for the doomed and hopeless and endlessly depressing Phoenix Suns, the Western...

Dead Letters: "Go Blow A Long Snot Out Of Your Stubby, Fat Nose!!!!"<em></em>
Subject: Your description of the President...

Steven Adams Offers Bradley Beal Swift Kick To The Dick And Balls
In the third quarter of tonight’s Wizards-Thunder game, Bradley Beal went up for a rebound and came down with a direct kick to the dick and balls from Steven Adams. Said kick did not exactly look like a natural act, especially not in the slo-mo replay below:...

Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....

Report: Police Called To Kansas Men's Basketball Dorm Due To Guy "Wanting To Give Free-Throw Advice"
University of Kansas police were called to the men’s basketball dorm today because a man reportedly stopped by several times to try giving at least one player some advice on shooting free throws, according to the Lawrence Journal-World. ...

Please Do Not Piss In Anyone's Water Bottle, No, Not Even The Opposing Keeper's
A Middlesbrough fan was reportedly arrested after he was caught on video pissing into the water bottle of QPR keeper Alex Smithies during Saturday’s EFL Championship match, and then tossing the bottle back onto the pitch. It should go without saying that you are a deeply weird and antisocial person ...

Sports Start Times, Ranked
Here are the best times for tipoffs, kickoffs, first pitches, and whatever they do in soccer:...

Matthew Dellavedova Ejected After Taking Down Bradley Beal
Tonight’s Bucks-Wizards game is a tight one, but Milwaukee is finishing it out without guard Matthew Dellavedova after the Australian earned a flagrant 2 ejection for demolishing Bradley Beal. He is fortunate the official punishment is all that he suffered....

Report: Avery Bradley Paid Settlement To Woman Who Accused Him Of Sexual Assault
TMZ reported today that Detroit Pistons guard Avery Bradley “entered into a confidentiality agreement” with a woman who said he sexually assaulted her while she was “passed out drunk” on May 23 in Cleveland. The agreement with the woman was reached earlier this year, according to TMZ. ...