dp Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

German Hockey Player Narrowly Avoids <i>Der Eismaschine</i><em></em>
Stefan Loibl of the Straubing Tigers was just giving a routine interview in the second intermission of a 4-2 loss to fellow German hockey club Kölner Haie. But just when you’re feeling safe—that’s when Der Eismaschine will strike....

Philly Cops Won’t Grease Poles For The Super Bowl Because It Didn’t Work Anyway
If the Eagles do the unthinkable and actually win the Super Bowl, Philadelphians will rush out onto the streets in celebration. If they want to climb some light poles to celebrate, they will be able to do so unencumbered: Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross announced today that the city wo...

Stephon Gilmore Flew In To Spoil The Jaguars' Fun
It probably won’t enter the annals of all-time great postseason plays, mostly because it was done in service of extending the Patriots’ exhausting run of dominance and only served to thwart Blake Bortles, but Stephon Gilmore’s fourth-quarter swat is one of the finest plays you’ll ever see in a big m...

Lean Into The Patriots Conspiracy Theory
I’m not saying the AFC title game was fixed for the Patriots, but holy shit that was some powerful home field advantage. The Jacksonville Jaguars were flagged six times for 98 yards while the Patriots were called once, for a holding penalty on a kickoff, for 10 yards. The last time any team was call...

The Patriots Are Returning To The Super Bowl. Barf Barf Barf.
The New England Patriots overcame the loss of Rob Gronkowski and a ten-point second-half deficit to defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars, 24-20, and return, like the swallows to Capistrano, to the Super Bowl. Fuck this shit....
![Gronk Questionable To Return To AFC Championship After "Head Injury" [Update: He's Out]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/luffeuohhhvqykoimp8n.jpg)
Gronk Questionable To Return To AFC Championship After "Head Injury" [Update: He's Out]
Rob Gronkowski left the field in the first half of today’s AFC Championship after absorbing a helmet-to-helmet hit from Jaguars safety Barry Church. Tom Brady’s pass left Gronk in a vulnerable position stretching for the grab, and Church was flagged for unnecessary roughness. Gronk seemed wobbly on ...

They’ve Greased Poles In Philadelphia In Preparation For The Eagles Game
People in Philadelphia are nervous today. It’s not just about tonight’s NFC title game against the Minnesota Vikings. They’re nervous what might happen if the Eagles actually win and advance to the Super Bowl....

How The Patriots Could Have Kept Both Jimmy Garoppolo <i>And</i> Tom Brady
However severe the injury to Tom Brady’s throwing hand turns out to be, the mild panic it has generated in the run-up to Sunday’s AFC championship game underscores a reality that is frequently easy to take for granted: Though he may seem like he will play forever, Brady is not indestructible....

It's Time To Simulate The AFC Championship Game In <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
Last week’s Titans-Patriots simulation was a bloodbath, seeing 14 total players get injured including both starting quarterbacks. Will the players in today’s simulation avoid a similar fate? More importantly, who will win? Your Tecmo Super Bowl simulation is LIVE: ...

Tom Brady Wore Gloves To His Presser And Wouldn't Talk About His Hand Injury
Tom Brady wore the gloves again. It is two days before the Patriots play in the AFC title game against the Jaguars....

Uh, Tom Brady's Throwing Hand Is Hurt And He Didn't Practice Today
It’s cool. Tom Brady hurt his throwing hand in practice on Wednesday and didn’t practice today, four days before the AFC Championship Game. Don’t worry about it....

Please Enjoy This Tecmo Super Bowl Simulation Of Tonight's Titans-Patriots Game
Your halftime entertainment is a CPU vs CPU simulation of tonight’s Titans-Patriots game in Tecmo Super Bowl, and it’s LIVE: ...

Bill Simmons Is A Fucking Embarrassment<em></em>
Look man, I know Ley already posted about it earlier but for real, get a fucking load of this Bill Simmons column that dropped today. It’s a fucking disgrace. There have been so many awful Bill Simmons takes throughout history, including this one, this one, and this one. You could make a Hall of Fa...

Get A Load Of This Fucking Bill Simmons Column
Bill Simmons has written a long and tortured criticism (rebuttal?) of Seth Wickersham’s meticulously reported story about the Patriots’ ongoing behind-the-scenes drama. If you want to spend the next 10-14 minutes making the Nick Young face, go ahead and read it. But if you just want to know how craz...

Anthony Duclair And The Blackhawks Need Each Other
The Chicago Blackhawks on Wednesday made a moderately sized trade splash, acquiring forward Anthony Duclair from the Arizona Coyotes along with defenseman Adam Clendening for forwards Richard Panik and Laurent Dauphin. It sets up the Blackhawks in a number of ways—they get younger, and they clear ca...

Investigation Finds Reggie Lynch Responsible For Another Sexual Assault, Recommends Expulsion
Last week, the University of Minnesota’s Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action office found center Reggie Lynch “responsible” for a “sexual misconduct incident” that took place on April 28, 2016. Lynch was suspended until 2020, pending an appeal. As the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported this aftern...

Tom Brady Allowed Deepak Chopra's Son To Follow Him Around For A Documentary Series
What would it be like to sniff a fart’s fart? The answer to that question might be the result of Deepak Chopra’s son filming a documentary on Tom Brady, for which he received access to Brady’s personal life....

Marcus Mariota Throws Touchdown Pass To Himself
The Tennessee Titans are somehow still in this wild card game against the Chiefs thanks to Marcus Mariota throwing a touchdown pass to himself, entirely legally. PLAYOFFS, BABY. We believe this is only the second time this has ever happened in NFL history; here’s the first, in 1997:...

Tom Brady's Quack Trainer Releases Statement Reaffirming His Friendship With Tom Brady<em></em>
One of the main characters in Seth Wickersham’s must-read ESPN story on infighting between the most powerful people in the Patriots organization is not technically a part of that organization at all. This is Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s personal quack doctor and someone who has amassed a great deal of...

Brady, Belichick, And Kraft Stop Feuding Long Enough To Put Out A Statement About How They're Not Feuding
The hot Patriots gossip is here and everyone loves it, because there is something undeniably hilarious about the best quarterback in NFL history teaming up with the real-life Dr. Nick and sabotaging the future of his own franchise. What’s also hilarious: this joint statement from Tom Brady, Bill Bel...