dp Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama's Jimmie Taylor Discovers New Way To Box Out
Kentucky won today’s SEC basketball battle in Tuscaloosa today 77-61, but it was the Crimson Tide that contributed to the college basketball corpus of literature as forward Jimmie Taylor introduced a new way of boxing out defenders to secure the offensive rebound. Despite this innovation, Taylor was...
<i>Star Wars</i>-Inspired Patriots Hype Video Doesn't Even Make Sense
Get ready for the “sports highlights mashed up with Star Wars: The Force Awakens” genre to become a ubiquitous internet thing. Let us hope the other entries are better than this one....
More Evidence That Tom Brady Is A Fancy Dog
We have previously put forward the theory that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is in fact a fancy dog. For those of you who scoffed at our perfectly sound reasoning, I present more irrefutable evidence that Tom Brady is indeed a dog, and a fancy one at that....
"What In The World Just Happened There!?" Maryland & Northwestern Combine For Wild Sequence
Northwestern is sporting its best men’s basketball team in years—maybe ever, given that the Wildcats have never, ever made the NCAA tournament—and Maryland’s fourth-ranked Terrapins are in Evanston tonight looking to darken those bright Chicago skies (heh, heh)....
TCU Blocks Oregon Punt; Oregon Ends Up With First Down Anyway
I’ve only seen this happen once before in my life: a team gets their punt blocked, recovers the blocked punt, and gains a first down. This is incredibly bad luck for a TCU team that’s down big (and down their quarterback)....
Iowa Knocks Off #1 Michigan State, Who Scored An Own Goal
We love these incredible basketball plays, so here’s Michigan State’s Alvin Ellis scoring on his own basket while trying to deflect an Iowa inbound pass. It’s emblematic of the Spartans’ rough night in Iowa City; they fell to the Hawkeyes 83-70....
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murp...
Bill Belichick Had A Plan, It Just Backfired Completely
By now we know that the Patriots’ decision to kick off to start overtime wasn’t a mistake—or at least, not the one it appeared to be at the time. New England never touched the ball in their 26-20 OT loss to the Jets, and while the outcome wasn’t by design, the strategy was. Whether or not it was a w...
Patriots Lose After Screwing Up Overtime Coin Toss [UPDATE]
Eric Decker hauled in a game-winning touchdown catch after the Jets were gifted the ball in overtime thanks to a colossal screwup by the New England Patriots....
Tim Roth: I Starred In FIFA's Awful Propaganda Movie For The Money
Tim Roth is a real and talented actor who has been nominated for an Academy Award, among other recognitions of his good work, which made it very strange to see him starring as Sepp Blatter in the FIFA-financed propaganda film about the organization’s history, United Passions. FIFA spent about $27 mi...
Report: The Patriots Are Also In Bed With Tom Brady's Shady Fitness Guru
Tom Brady’s relationship with Alex Guerrero is well-documented and wide-ranging: Guerrero is Brady’s body coach, business partner, and trusted friend. He’s also been sued for fraud twice, including for a beverage called Neurosafe that he claimed could prevent concussions, as well as for another drin...
Tom Brady Is A Hilarious Moron
There was an old episode of The Larry Sanders Show that aired right during the peak of the O.J. Simpson murder trial hysteria. And in the episode, Hank Kingsley (as played by the brilliant Jeffery Tambor) tells the rest of the staff that he thinks O.J., his neighbor, is innocent of murder. Why? Beca...
All The Ways We've Described Rob Gronkowski In 2015
Rob Gronkowski, who will bleed Grey Goose if you cut him, had quite a year. After the Patriots won the Super Bowl, Gronk was shirtless, twerking, and shirtless while twerking. Here are all the things we’ve called the tight end while chronicling his exploits:...
Tom Brady Leaves Press Conference After Two Questions About His Friendship With Donald Trump
This morning’s cover of the New York Daily News features the headline “BRADY HAS NO BALLS” over a picture of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady standing with rancid salmon filet Donald Trump, whom Brady has previously called a “great friend” while saying it “would be great” if Trump became p...
Tom Brady On Donald Trump: "He's A Good Friend Of Mine ... I Support All My Friends"
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady appeared for his regular interview on Dennis & Callahan this morning, and actually had to face a question about Donald Trump, a toupee someone found in a garbage can and stapled to a sweet potato. Brady did a good job of not providing an actual answer. When one of the ...
New York Giants Cut Damontre Moore After He Fought Cullen Jenkins Over Headphones
Damontre Moore is no longer a New York Giant after getting cut yesterday. Now why would the Giants cut a third-round pick in the middle of a *stifles laughter* playoff push? Well:...
Real Madrid Can't Even Beat Barcelona At Trolling
It’s only natural that the biggest rivalry in all of soccer is regularly fraught with verbal jabs and needles back and forth, as Barcelona and Real Madrid fans and players seek to show up their eternal enemies. This season has already offered a few moments ripe for the kind of hilarious sparring eve...
We Will Pay The Reporter Who Asks Tom Brady About His Friend Donald Trump’s Plan To Ban Muslims
Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump called on the United States to ban all Muslims, including American citizens, from entering the country. Deadspin will pay $100 to the first reporter who asks Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who said three months ago that “it would be great” i...
What Was Bill Belichick Thinking?
If the season ended today, the Patriots would have to play (against the Jets!) on wild-card weekend. It’s a quick turnaround for a team, that just two games ago, had its sights set on another perfect regular season. But life comes at you fast, and if it’s entirely normal that New England would strug...
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