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Andre Miller Throws Some Classic Old-Man Game At The Heat, Scores
Andre Miller is 941 years old and has been in the NBA longer than it has existed; his first career assist, as a matter of fact, was a pocket bounce-pass to a rolling Chester Arthur for a two-handed jam. In all the years since, Gramps has learned a few tricks to augment his nonexistent athleticism, ...

The Former Basketball Player Who Brought Down Bill Cosby
Without Andrea Constand, none of this happens. Bill Cosby is still America’s No. 1 dad, still beloved for giving us the Huxtables and Fat Albert, still embraced in too many corners of the country for telling young black men to pull up their pants, still selling out arena after arena....

The Warriors Ran A Beautiful Play For An Alley-Oop Last Night
Played well, basketball is a spectacularly beautiful game. Despite having a 9-2 record, the Golden State Warriors offense has frequently been bogged down by careless turnovers. The team has a trigger-happy reputation, but it's actually their defense—tied for best in the league with the Spurs—that ha...

DeAndre Hopkins' Favorite 4th-Grade Memory? Eating Pudding In Class
The pictures in this post come to us from a tipster, whose fiancée went to elementary school in Clemson, South Carolina with Houston Texans wideout DeAndre Hopkins. Like many kids, Hopkins aspired to be a professional athlete. Unlike most kids, he actually made it....

My Kid’s Insane List Of Reasons To Be Thankful, Annotated
I have an 8-year-old who has something of an overactive imagination, which is a good thing for a child to have, in theory. There are entire 10,000-word think pieces and scientific studies now about how all playgrounds should be replaced with an open field and a giant barrel of sticks so that kids...

This Coast-To-Coast Andre Iguodala Dunk Is Gorgeous
Blah blah slow news day boogity boogity traveling bork bork bork not a real dunk durr bad defense mew mew mew....

Former UNC Player Details Academic Fraud, Says "Everybody Knew"
Former Tar Heels football player Tydreke Powell called into North Carolina radio station WJMH this morning and provided some interesting details about the academic misconduct that allegedly involved hundreds of UNC athletes....

Drew Brees's Fumble Was The Most Disastrous Play Of Week 10
Drew Brees made several big plays to will the Saints into overtime and give his team a chance at beating the 49ers. But in overtime Brees was sacked and fumbled, which led to San Francisco's game-winning field goal. The fumble was the detrimental play of the week according to data from Brian Burke...

Browns WR's Son Now Knows Which Team To Support
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins's son admitted his favorite players were Bengals back in October. Bad idea, kid. After a lot of introspection, however, Hawkins's son was allowed back in the house on Friday....

Brett Favre Was The Third Choice For <em>There's Something About Mary</em>
Brett Favre's memorable cameo in There's Something About Mary wouldn't have happened if the Farrelly Brothers had gotten their way (and if Drew Bledsoe hadn't injured a woman stage-diving at an Everclear concert)....

Penguins Re-Sign Marc-Andre Fleury. No, Really.
In a move sure to be universally lauded by fans of the other 29 teams, the Pittsburgh Penguins have extended goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury on a four-year deal with an average annual value of $5.75 million....

No, Andrew Luck Is Not On Pace For The Best Season In NFL History
There's been a lot written lately about Andrew Luck being on pace to break the single-season passing-yards record. While Luck is having a solid year, to what degree can we attribute these gaudy statistics to his dominance? And how much do his numbers merely reflect the era in which he's playing? ...

Foods That Taste Good But Aren’t Shitty For You: A Matrix
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering voodoo, Papa John, handcuffing, and more....

Browns WR Exiles 2-Year-Old Son From House For Liking Bengals
Andrew Hawkins played three seasons for the Bengals, but he signed with the Browns this offseason. The wide receiver had to uphold the AFC North rivalry after Hawkins's two-year-old son said his favorite players were Bengals receivers Mohamed Sanu and A.J. Green....

Josh Childress Smashes Opponent's Face With Vicious Flying Elbow
Former NBA swingman Josh Childress is still playing professional ball in Australia, and that's bad news for Australian dudes who think they can lay a hard pick on Childress and not catch an elbow to the face for their trouble....

Hunter Pence's Postgame Interview With Erin Andrews Got Pretty Awkward
Hunter Pence shitting all over Erin Andrews's question was bad enough, but then he had to go and make things even worse by apologizing for it. The last thing you want to hear from someone who just made things awkward is "Uh, sorry for making things awkward."...

How To Race 26.2 Miles, Chicago-Style
Some of the most exciting moments in marathon racing have happened in Chicago. Not sure why Chicago. Maybe it's because the Chicago Marathon has the financial means to lure big talent with borderline crazy fearlessness—the ingredients of epic races. Maybe, it's because Chicago's infamous weather a...

MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...
