e Page 6423 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Retired Stars File Suit Alleging NFL Doped Them Up Like Race Horses
Some very large piles of shit just hit the fan in the world of the NFL today. Eight former NFL players—Richard Dent, Jim McMahon, Jeremy Newberry, Roy Green, J.D. Hill, Keith Van Horne, Ron Stone, and Ron Pritchard—have filed a class-action lawsuit against the NFL. The suit claims that the league su...
Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake
Apparently, Manchester City superstar and greatest midfielder currently doing it Yaya Touré is unhappy with his club. Why, you might wonder, when they just won the Premier League in exciting fashion, featuring him as their best player? Because the team didn't celebrate his birthday....
Goaltending Is Not The Canadiens' Problem
The difference between an elite goaltender and an outright bad one really isn't that huge. The best goalie in the league is probably going to give you .925, maybe .930 over the course of a season. The worst regular starter is probably going to sit around .900 or .905. That's two or three extra saves...
What Happened To Mike Trout's Swing?
There is nothing average about Mike Trout. People built like Brian Urlacher shouldn't be able to scale walls and run like a scared deer, all while squarely hitting a round ball with a round bat. The 2014 season has seen Mike Trout put up a more earthbound line than usual: .263/.358/.509 after last n...
Connor Barwin Says Nick Foles Has The Biggest Dong On The Eagles
Hey, have you ever found yourself sitting around and wondering things like, "Which player on the Philadelphia Eagles has the biggest unit?" Well, thanks to Eagles linebacker Connor Barwin, it looks like we have an answer to that question....
$60 Million High School Football Stadium Deemed Unsafe
Two years ago, the football-mad suburb of Allen, Texas, sank $60 million into a state-of-the-art, 18,000-seat high school football stadium. Now, according to the Dallas Morning News, the stadium will be closed for the upcoming season because it has been deemed structurally unsafe. ...
Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...
Rugby Player Congratulates Opponent Who Punched Him Out
I'm no expert when it comes to rugby, but I think that it's safe to say that we have finally reached Peak Rugby, and it's all thanks to Tom Youngs and Salesi Ma'afu....
Chained Wimbledon: The Joys And Perils Of Prison Tennis
The next time I commit a felony, I think I'll do it in California. It turns out that San Quentin has a fabulous tennis program. The court I played on during my time in the New York State prison system was a total wreck. Two summers at Groveland Correctional Facility (starting in 2009) did improve my...
Cricketer Makes Amazing, Acrobatic Catch
This is Kieron Pollard of the Mumbai Indians making one of the coolest catches you will ever see, in cricket or elsewhere. ...
H-U-S-T-L-E-R
The great John Lardner's take on Titanic Thompson (True, 1951):...
It's Westbrook And Durant Vs. The World Now
The Spurs, because they are the all-consuming, unrelenting Spurs, did everything they were supposed to in their Game 1 matchup with the Thunder last night. With Serge Ibaka off the floor, they put their heads down and attacked the rim over and over again, scoring 66 points in the paint. They were in...
<em>The Maya Rudolph Show</em> Is Half-Man, Half-Muppet, And All Woman
"Men invented nepotism and practically live by it. It's okay for women to do it, too." All week long, I've been thinking about that quote from Roxane Gay's forthcoming essay collection, Bad Feminist—a prayer-hands-emoji-inducing aphorism that echoed again during last night's premiere of The Maya Rud...
Foul Ball-Seeking Angels Fan Absolutely Wrecks Old Woman
The most painful part of this video? The poor old woman crying out, "My shoulder!"...
Pantomime Cunnilingus And Blowjob: Braves Fan Covers All The Bases
So, here is a dude on the SportsSouth Braves feed doing the ol' blowjob and cunnilingus routine behind home plate. There's not a whole lot to praise here, but we do appreciate his open-mindedness and willingness to please when it comes to pantomiming oral sex....
Former Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleader Sues Team For Wage Theft
Former Buccaneers cheerleader Manouchcar Pierre-Val has just made Tampa Bay the fifth NFL team to get served with a lawsuit from its cheerleaders. ...
Cleveland Fan Takes Baseball Square In The Face
This guy at the Tigers-Indians game tonight was really excited to get a baseball from Asdrubal Cabrera. In between innings, Cabrera launched a baseball into the bleachers and this dude ran in front of some folks seated in the area, leaped, and perfectly positioned his face to stop the ball dead in i...
Giant Sinkhole Opens At Austin Peay's Football Stadium
Austin Peay's Governors Stadium is getting a facelift, but a 40-foot-deep sinkhole in the north endzone has made the process a little more difficult. Workers have been aware of the sinkhole for some time, but in trying to make the area safe and workable, they've had to dig out a considerably larger ...
When Is a "Party 69" Jersey Appropriate?
The answer to that question is almost certainly "never," but let's keep open the possibility that this jersey is somehow acceptable in at least one situation. Siths and absolutes, and all that. Still, we can safely say that the hypothetically palatable "Party 69" jersey-wearing situation is not a ga...
I'm No Race-Baiting Troll, Explains Race-Baiting Troll Phil Mushnick
A week and a half ago, Phil Mushnick, a race-baiting troll who writes for the New York Post, published a column in which he compared the treatment of Donald Sterling to a lynching. ...