e Page 6448 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Story About Teacher Who Gives Child Lap Dance In Class Is Very Weird
Houston CBS affiliate KHOU dropped a story on its website this morning about a middle school teacher who admits she gave a student a lap dance during class. Somehow, the lap dance part is the least weird thing about it....

This Is Not How You're Supposed To Throw A Jump Ball, Ken Mauer
As much as we enjoyed watching you deploy the Fling 'n Hide technique to perfection, you probably shouldn't do this again, Ken Mauer. ...

Former Barcelona Manager Tito Vilanova Dead At 45
FC Barcelona has just announced that former manager Tito Vilanova passed today following a two-and-half-year battle with throat cancer. He was 45 years old. ...

NFL Prospect Bradley Roby Disputes Report Of His OVI Through Twitter
NFL draft prospect Bradley Roby was reportedly charged with an OVI—operating a vehicle impaired—on April 20 in Columbus, Ohio. But today, Roby took to Twitter to dispute the accuracy of that report, and he had some tangible evidence....

Warriors Fan With "King Slayer" Jersey Has Gone Too Far
This is all your fault, basketbloggers....

Which States Hate Themselves The Most?
A new Gallup poll, covered in USA Today, poses a goofy but fascinating question: Do you consider your home state to be the best, or one of the best, to live in?...

What If All Baseball Players Were Fat?
Upon several viewings of Bartolo Colon's hilarious plate appearances, the Deadspin staff discussed what baseball would be like if every player looked like the husky Mets hurler. Or, really, just fat. So here's some recent MLB highlights where we made all the baseball players fat. Video's above, GIFs...

Shaq Makes Inadvertent Dick Joke, Everyone Loses It
He was talking about Dick Bavetta. This is the kind of thing that happens when studio analysts have to stay up until 2:00 a.m. every night....

Hawk Harrelson Takes To MLB Network To Complain About Hemorrhoids
Chicago White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson turned up on Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's MLB Network show High Heat yesterday, and things went pretty much exactly as you'd expect, with lots of talk about Carl Yastrzemski, Tony La Russa, and this year's purportedly dangerous White Sox squad. There was also th...

Seriously, What The Hell Is Going On With The Pacers?
Things have been bad for the Pacers for about two months, during which the team took on the surly, listless post-holiday air of an unhappy family too long indoors. But even when they were playing their worst, it was hard to imagine this. Down 2-1 series to the eighth-seeded Hawks, the Pacers are in ...

The Long History Of Pitchers Getting Caught Red-Handed
Yesterday Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda was suspended for 10 games for his use of pine tar during Wednesday's game against the Red Sox. The New York Times has put together a nice collection of photographs of pitchers getting caught in the act. Above, knuckleballer Joe Niekro was found with a nail f...

How Difficult Is It To Qualify For The Boston Marathon?
We've spent the better part of this week focusing on elites, but now we turn back to the heart of the Boston Marathon: the qualifiers....

Larry Legend's At A Loss For Words
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Brad Marchand Misses Two Wide-Open Nets
Brad Marchand has to be feeling very lucky about the fact that his Bruins came away with a 3-2 victory in last night's Game 4 against the Red Wings, otherwise he would be having a very, very bad day today....

Mitch McGary Declaring For NBA Draft, Victim Of NCAA Reefer Madness
After missing most of last season with a back injury, University of Michigan forward Mitch McGary seemed likely to head back to Ann Arbor for another year of work on his sketchy offensive game and another deep run in the NCAA tournament. Instead, he'll be declaring for the NBA draft—all because he g...

Dodger Stadium Idiot Climbs Over Outfield Fence, Evades Security
Two fans ran out onto the field at Dodger Stadium tonight midway through the ninth inning, and it appears one of them escaped security by climbing back over the outfield fence. We doubt he got away for long, though....

Mike Miller Is Not A Chair, Kendrick Perkins
Get off of Mike Miller, Kendrick! He isn't a chair. Ah, what the heck. You deserve a quick breather. Keep workin' hard out there, Perk....

Jeff Teague Hits One-Footed, Contested Three To Beat The Shot Clock
Even Jeff Teague doesn't know how he sank a running three-pointer with Luis Scola in his face as the shot clock expired. He can only do his best Jordan shrug. Teague will take it though, along with a Game 3 win for the Hawks over Indiana....

Does Your Favorite Team Suck At Keeping An Efficient Payroll?
Businessweek put together a fun ranking of how all 122 franchises in the four major American professional sports leagues burn their money on player payroll. You might be shocked to find out that most successful teams are intelligent with their spending. The top nine of 10 franchises have been to the...
