e Page 6881 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brewers Ticket Plan Gives Fans Better Seats Each Time Milwaukee Wins
The Brewers "won" the Kyle Lohse sweepstakes today, shoring up their rotation. So if Milwaukee fans are feeling optimistic about their team's chances, perhaps they'd like to wager their seats on it. The Brewers have introduced a unique nine-game ticket plan, and each time they win, fans get upgraded...
Vote, Jagoffs: Second Round Of Our Curse Word Bracket Begins
BEWARE THE 13 SEEDS. While Florida Gulf Coast was busy trashing your NCAA bracket, some rather notable underdogs advanced in the first round of our curse word bracket, including 13 seeds "cameltoe" (which beat out "screw" by less than a thousand votes) and "buttfuck" (which staged an astonishing tr...
Topps Puts Pitcher's Season-Ending Injury On His Baseball Card
This photo comes from last June, a steamy summer night in Atlanta. Daniel Hudson, the Diamondbacks' young starter, was scared for his season and his career. He had just blown out his throwing arm, and was removed from the game in the second inning. It's a moment that would be immortalized on his dam...
Are You Ready For FGCU To Dunk Its Way Into Your Heart? A Guide To March Madness's Most Entertaining Team
The Florida Gulf Coast Eagles are the best thing to happen to the NCAA tournament in a long time. Here's everything you need to know about them....
Overpaid Sportswriter Salutes Underpaid Football Player
Below are two recent news items. The first is from Sports Illustrated's Peter King; the second is about Sports Illustrated's Peter King. ...
"Dangerous" Triangular Flapjacks Banned In England, And The BBC Is All Over It
Here is a report from tonight's BBC News, and it includes the following statements:...
Thanks To The FGCU Basketball Team, Fort Myers Is Officially Dunk City
The picture above is a screencap from the official website of Fort Myers, Fla., the city that is home to everyone's favorite NCAA tournament team. As you can see in the top left corner, the city is celebrating the Florida Gulf Coast Eagles' Sweet 16 bid by officially branding itself as Dunk City for...
An Empty White Castle And Two Bored Children: Former NFLer Anthony Adams Had The Best Retirement Announcement
After nine years in the NFL, DT Anthony "Spice" Adams didn't catch on with a team for 2012. Instead, he chronicled the life of a free agent: boredom, desperation, lots of Capri Sun. Now he's calling it a career, in the most Anthony Adams way imaginable....
What Happened In The Game? We Called Every Tourney Team's Local Applebee's To Find Out: Part II
For the tournament, we're calling Applebee's franchises in different cities across the country immediately after the local institution has completed its game, win or lose. We'll pretend to be oblivious about what just happened in order to get a detailed game description from someone in the restauran...
Sean "X-Pac" Waltman Tore Open His Anus On A Failed Bronco Buster
Sean Waltman, best known for stints in the WWF and WCW as the 1-2-3 Kid, Syxx, and X-Pac (and that horrible, horrible Chyna sex tape), is still toiling away on the independent circuit. Saturday night brought him to Minneapolis for a tribute show to the retiring Jerry Lynn. It ended in lots of blood....
The Yankees Will Inexplicably Pay Vernon Wells $13 Million To Be Vernon Wells
The Yankees are on the verge of acquiring the washed-up, 34-year-old Vernon Wells, and part of his massive contract, and it raises more questions than answers. Two of those questions: Vernon Wells? Really?...
MMA Announcer Can't Stop Telling Us About His Anus
Danny Mainus lost his fight against Zac Chavez at a Resurrection Fighting Alliance event last Friday. That's not important, though. What's important is how "Mainus" sounds when pronounced by Australian play-by-play announcer Michael Schiavello....
Mavericks Forward Jae Crowder Is A Shapeshifter
How's your mind? Pretty blown right now, I assume....
The Mets' PR Director Cannot Stop Butt-Dialing People
Jay Horwitz, longtime media relations man for the Mets, has a problem. He doesn't know how to use his phone, and refuses to lock it. The result? Thousands and thousands of accidental calls to confused players. ...
Marlins Attendance Is Going To Be A Disaster
Planning to go to the Marlins' home opener on April 8, as Miami kicks off yet another rebuilding year? The odds are: you're probably not. But the Marlins are doing whatever they can to get you in the ballpark: Half-off tickets through Groupon! Two-for-one deals! A free all-you-can-eat buffet! How ab...
DUNK CITY: Here Are All Of FGCU's Postseason Slams, Compiled For Your Viewing Pleasure
FGCU performed the impossible, defeating San Diego State last night to earn the first-ever Sweet 16 trip for a 15-seed. They did it with top-notch coaching, execution, and devastating slam dunks. Here's all of Florida Gulf Coast's postseason dunks, starting with their Atlantic Sun quarterfinal agai...
Tyrone Garland's "Southwest Philly Floater" Sends La Salle To Sweet 16
La Salle's Tyrone Garland sank a floater high off the glass with 2.5 seconds remaining to seize a 76-74 win for the Explorers over Marshall Henderson and the Ole Miss Rebels....
Florida Gulf Coast University Beer Koozies Are Out Of Stock
Throwin' alleys. ...