e Page 6968 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even Danny Woodhead's Butterfingers Can't Stop New England From Scoring: Patriots-Texans In Four GIFs

New England 42, Houston 14: Tom Brady had four touchdowns and 296 yards. Matt Schaub? He also participated in the game. New England running backs accounted for 127 yards rushing and another touchdown. Houston running backs had 99 yards and one touchdown. The Patriots ran only two more plays, but out...

Raccoon Caught Scavenging In The Stands Of Paul Brown Stadium

On Sunday we heard whispers that there was a raccoon running loose in Paul Brown Stadium as the Bengals hosted the Cowboys. Well, now we have video. Some brave soul scooped up the masked critter and helpfully escorted him out of the section....

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Houston at New England (ESPN): This has all the makings for a legitimate barn burner and as they look ahead to next week's matchup, Tirico and Gruden must be doing somersaults. Alas, this game will play out the only way an ostensibly exciting game involving the Patriots can play out: crushing, no-do...

Deadspin Up All Night: Butterflyin'

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Texans-Patriots tonight. Should be fun. You've all been great. You got personality....

Why Is Novak Djokovic Cornering The World Market On Donkey Cheese?

We so wanted this to be one of those stories about a wealthy athlete splurging on stupid stuff because he's a wealthy athlete who can splurge on stupid stuff. Alas, there's a real, practical reason why tennis star Novak Djokovic has bought up the annual supply of donkey cheese from a farm in his Ser...

Chicago Man Stabs Bar Patron In The Neck, Throws His Own Shit All Over A Police Station

Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From...

Manny Pacquiao's Mom Thinks He Lost Because He's No Longer A Catholic

Manny Pacquiao got knocked out on a devastating punch by Juan Manuel Márquez in the sixth round. Like many people, Filipinos were in utter shock to see their idol faceplant in the ring. Pacquiao's mom, however, provided a rational, well thought-out reason as to why her son lost his welterweight bou...

Root For Adrian Peterson, Because Football Is An Asshole

After running for 157 yards against the Bears on Sunday, Adrian Peterson is 506 yards away from breaking the single-season rushing record, something he told SI's Peter King that he is very serious about doing. It's a stretch, but not quite an impossible stretch: Peterson is averaging 123 rushing ya...

Here's An Unverified Story About Cam Newton Buying Superman Onesie Pajamas [UPDATED]

Sup, gang. We got this email from a reader a few minutes ago. We're passing it along because, well ... do we really need to explain?:...

The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents

Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...

Greg Hardy Tells The Falcons To Get The Fuck Off His Field, Gets Trolled By Matt Bryant

It was Week 4 when Matt Ryan told the Carolina Panthers to "get the fuck off of his field" at the conclusion of his team's dramatic victory over the lowly Panthers. Headed into this week's rematch, it became known that the Panthers were still agitated by Ryan's boasting, and were looking to get so...

ESPN Finally Disavows Its Tebow Coverage: "We Didn't Handle That Very Well"

The New York Jets have three games left to play and despite an unexpected itchy eruption of theoretically possible playoff chances—one game behind whahuh?—they're not a draw going down the stretch. The Chargers-Jets Sunday game on Dec. 23 gets the distinction of being the only game this year that NB...

Ravens Fire Offensive Coordinator Cam Cameron, Because It's His Fault That Kirk Cousins Owned Baltimore

After two straight losses, the Baltimore Ravens have decided to fire offensive coordinator Cam Cameron and promote quarterbacks coach Jim Caldwell, according to the Baltimore Sun. It's no surprise to see a team cut loose a coach to try to shake off a bad spell. But it's a little weird to see the Ra...

The Clippers' Bench Has A New Nickname And It Is So Dumb

It's always fun when a basketball team's bench takes on an identity of its own. Getting to watch a group of guys who are not quite good enough to be starters gel into a cohesive unit of their own adds another layer of excitement to the game, and so it's no surprise people often want to give cool ni...

Boom Or Bust: 48 Hours At Leadville's Treacherous Ultramarathon

After 99.75 miles and more than 16 hours of running, Thomas Lorblanchet comes striding slowly down 6th Street in Leadville, Colo. It's almost 9 on an August night, and as he crests a small hill, his way is lit only by his headlamp and the glowing light from the one-story houses that line the street....

Air Guitar-Playing Gonzaga Walk-On: Death Metal Superstar

One of the most entertaining college basketball games so far this season happened Saturday night in Spokane, as the 13th-ranked and undefeated Illini downed Gonzaga 85-74. The final score betrays what was an extremely competitive game: tied at the half, Illinois only managed to put away the Bulld...

"Jimmer Got Moves, Dog. That **** Crazy.": DeMarcus Cousins Praises His Mormon Teammate

We can all thank the guys at Cowbell Kingdom for bringing us this audio clip, in which Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins dishes out some fervent praise for teammate Jimmer Fredette....

JaVale McGee Had A Bad Minute During Last Night's Nuggets-Knicks Game [UPDATE: Now With George Karl Reaction GIF]

On Friday JaVale McGee performed a terrible, wonderful, perfectly awful feat and helped lead the Nuggets to a big win. He was less effective last night against the Knicks, picking up as many fouls as he had rebounds and only scoring four points. That's not to say our love for McGee is tempered; o...

There's still time to submit your nominees for the 2012 Deadspin Hall of Fame. Click here and put 'em in the discussion....

Stephen Jackson Fined For Threatening Serge Ibaka On Twitter

On Friday night, Thunder forward Serge Ibaka and Lakers forward/crazy person Metta World Peace got into a bit of a tussle. Immediately after the game, Spurs swingman Stephen Jackson sent out the following, since-deleted tweet:...