e Page 7051 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Belated Week Two NFL Open Thread
Whoops! Hope you didn't have any thoughts during the first, oh, 80 minutes football this weekend. Luckily the games are flying fast and furious, so everyone was probably too discombobulated to think of anything witty. Right? Yak here and we'll link back throughout the day. Here's the best gif ever, ...

Ohio Is For Non-Football Lovers: Your NFL Early Games Viewing Guide
On paper this is kind of a rough first act for week two, but who cares? It's still football and usually it's these god-awful looking games that become the most compelling. So trust me when I tell you, this Browns-Bengals game is going to be one for the ages. ...


How To Make A Salad That Doesn't Suck: A Guide For The Nutritionally Unvirtuous
Even the more willing salad-eaters among us tend to think of salad as the culinary equivalent of floss, i.e. as a depressing incarnation of grim, miserable healthfulness wagging a finger of admonishment from the most boring sector of the table. At family functions, you scoop some onto your plate wit...
![Video: A Couple Humped In A Yankee Stadium Bathroom Stall For About Three Innings On Saturday [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17zauhymjediyjpg.jpg)
Video: A Couple Humped In A Yankee Stadium Bathroom Stall For About Three Innings On Saturday [NSFW]
Video below. Lots of male ass (beneath a C.C. Sabathia jersey), so proceed with caution. Here's the story from our tipster:...

Goalie Can't Make Save, Can Dive Face First Into Goal Post
New York Red Bulls teammates Thierry Henry and Dax McCarty hooked up for a nice goal off an Henry corner kick in the Red Bulls 3-1 win over the Columbus Crew. Poor Crew goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum made a hell of an effort to stop it, but he came up short....

Last Night's Holy War Game Between BYU And Utah Ended Bizarrely As Utes Fans Rushed The Field Three Separate Times
Rice-Eccles Stadium in Salt Lake City became the stage for farce in the closing moments of last night's Holy War game between Utah and BYU, as fan confusion over the end of the game led to them rushing the field three times....

Evgeni Malkin Sign With KHL Team Metallurg, Metallurg Best
Since American NHL leader troll Gary Bettman make with hockey lockout (remind you of Putin, da? Except fearless leader Putin like hockey, ho ho ho!), Evgeni Malkin sign with Metallurg. Metallurg play in Magnitorogorsk, hearty industrial city in Chelyabinsk Oblast, Russia. Malkin from Magnitorogorsk,...

NFL Removes Replacement Referee Assigned To New Orleans Saints Game Because He Is A Saints Fan
Chris Mortensen reported this one and it is truly amazing. Brian Stropolo is an NFL replacement side judge, for now, who was scheduled to officiate the New Orleans Saints-Carolina Panthers game this afternoon. Brian Stropolo is also a huge Saints fan— and I mean, huge. Check out his facebook. If he'...

NHL Lockout Is Official
The NHL released a brief statement at 12:05 AM indicating that the players would be locked out. Here is the full, 151-word statement:...


The Iron Sheik And Jose Canseco Had Twitter Beef Last Night
Pro wrestler and occasional Deadspin contributor The Iron Sheik went after more-than-occasional Deadspin subject Jose Canseco last night, calling the steroids proponent a "dumb Mexican" who is, additionally, "dumber than dead dog."...

Beer Of The Week: Hoptimus Prime
The further we get from the '80s, the less defensible the hero-toys look. G.I. Joes might've delivered creepily timed PSAs - oh, don't mind Doc hanging around outside your bathroom window, kiddos - but in setting up a reflexively force-oriented response to terroristic threats probably helped set the...

Wisconsin Fans Fond Of Wearing "Eat Shit/Fuck You" T-Shirts To Nationally-Televised Football Games
This is apparently a whole thing for Wisconsin fans, alongside their prefab dancing to terrible rap songs. "Eat shit" returned by "Fuck you!" is a student section chant, something as creative as, oh, "rah-rah-rah." Regardless, the truly clever exchange is now available on T-shirts, which the class...

Arkansas' Season-Long Nightmare Is In Full Swing
Against Arkansas today, Alabama covered the over (51 points) without allowing Arkansas to score. This is a difficult thing to accomplish. Vegas didn't see it coming - the last line I saw was Arkansas +20.5 - but at least two Razorbacks fans knew this one was going to be the college football equivale...

Faceless Florida Gator Is Kind Of Horrific
The Florida Gators find themselves down a touchdown to rivals Tennessee in Knoxville tonight, and it seems one Gators player can't bear to show his face out of embarrassment—either that, or Will Muschamp tore it off in a fit of rage....


Deadspin Up All Night: Walking Right Up To The Cars
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Things are still happening all over the place and Sam's on West Coast time, so expect to hear some more from us. Tomorrow: Sean, Tim, me, the world....

The NHL Is Officially Locking Out Its Players After Sides Failed To Meet Today
It may have seemed like a forgone conclusion (NHL deputy comissioner Bill Daly said today, "I think it's fair to say there was no realistic expectation to avoid a lockout as of developments on Wednesday and Thursday") but the owner's self-imposed deadline was midnight tonight. Nothing happened or wi...

The Time ESPN's Lynn Hoppes Debunked MediaTakeOut's Report That Lolo Jones Was Dating Ndamukong Suh
On Thursday, an exclusive came roaring across the front page of the internet: MediaTakeOut.com, long beloved and respected for its crack reporting and evocative headlining, had the exclusive. The full text of their Lolo Jones/Ndamukong Suh love story:...