e Page 7111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...

The Family That Hugs Lawnmower Dongs Together Stays Together: The Week In Unintentional Dongs
We're back for another round of unintentional dongs. let's not waste any time and get right into the dongy good times. Reader Nathan gets us going with his son's version of a lawnmower. Is this perhaps some subconscious allusion to his mother's indiscretions with the landscaper? We just don't know. ...

Your Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord
We've got baseball, Spain-Italy in the Euro 2012 Final at 2:45 p.m., Golf at 3:00 p.m., Nascar and more baseball. If I left anything out, it is OFF LIMITS and you are prohibited by law from discussing it. If that's a problem, contact my lawyer, but he's busy handling a blackmail case, so leave a me...

Oklahoma City Thunder Fan Is Selling His Homemade Painted Car
If you are in the market for a hideous car made even more hideous by a custom paint job, today is your lucky day. Drew Hooper, who can only be described as a Thunder super fan, decided to spruce up his 1996 Suzuki X-90 in really the only way a 1996 Suzuki X-90 can be spruced up: he painted Thunder p...

Dwight Howard Claims The Magic Blackmailed Him, Is A Crazy Person
Last night, Dwight Howard re-requested a trade to the Brooklyn Nets. Rumors connecting Howard with the Nets have been swirling for months, so this was not exactly breaking news. What is breaking news is Howard's claim that he feels he was "blackmailed" by the team....

The Royals Gave Up A Run On A Hit That Started Off Closer To The On-Deck Circle Than The Pitcher's Mound
It's been a rough existence for the Kansas City Royals. Sure they had some fun times there in the 80's, but really, on the whole, it's been kind of a mess. So, you can't be too surprised if you're a Royals fan and see this in the 5th inning of the first game of a day-night doubleheader with the Twi...

Reports: 49ers Linebacker Aldon Smith Stabbed At House Party, Two Others Shot
According to team officials, the Niners linebacker is said to be recovering "comfortably" from "minor injuries." San Francisco has not elaborated any further but has said the team is in touch with the police....

Deadspin Up All Night: She Done Me Good
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll see you all tomorrow....

Insane Man Goes Hunting For Murderous "Testicle-Eating" Fish
Jeremy Wade hosts a show called "River Monsters," so I suppose this would fall under the show's umbrella. After hearing word of a fish that killed two men by eating their testicles, causing them to bleed to death, Wade decided to seek out the culprit....

Who Are Golf's "Invisible Man" Guys?
A bizarre scene is unfolding at today's third round action at the AT&T National. After violent storms uprooted several trees (including a 75 foot tree falling across the fairway on 14) and delayed play, the course has been overrun by thousands of "Invisible Man" guys....

Denver Brewery Makes Clown Question Bro Beer, Bryce Harper Suggests Donating Proceeds To Fund For Daughter Of Slain Officer
Fine, so it was someone in Bryce Harper's stable of handlers, but still, it's a nice sentiment. "That's a clown question, bro" has taken on a life of it's own and a Denver brewery named a beer using the famous retort to join in on all the fun just as Harper was in town to play the Rockies....

Rufus The Pigeon-Scaring Hawk At Wimbledon Has Gone Missing, Foul Play Suspected
Disturbing news out of Wimbledon today: a hawk named Rufus, who has been used to scare away pigeons and other small, distracting birds from the courts at the All England Club, was stolen early Friday morning. He was in his cage, in a car parked on a private driveway in Wimbledon. The car's rear win...

Four-Team Trade Sends Lamar Odom To The Clippers, ESPN Searching For New Picture Of Tadija Dragićević
The Mavericks sent disgruntled power forward/Kardashian sweetheart to the Los Angeles Clippers in a deal including four teams. The Clippers sent Mo Williams to the Utah Jazz who in turn received the draft rights to Shan Foster from the Mavericks. Dallas received the draft rights to Tadija Dragićevi...

Clinton Moore's Wreck On A Failed Moto X 720 Was Bad Enough; Then Some Guy Picked Up His Bike And Ran Him Over With It
The X Games are underway—you knew they were underway, right?—and last night's competition in Los Angeles proved worth watching, as Ronnie Renner and Matt Buyten waged a historic battle in the Step Up competition (one finally won by Renner with a 47-foot high jump) and then a Best Trick final fille...

Your Saturday Afternoon Open Thread Smorgasbord
We've got "The Fortnight," baseball, some Nascar and soggy golf if that's your cup of tea. Let's discuss!...

Keg Hockey Is Hockey Played With Fire Hoses And A Keg
I'm not really sure if I need to go any further in depth than that. This video is from 2010, but I've never seen, nor heard of, "Keg Hockey" before in my life, so excuse my ignorance if this is old hat for some of you. I even grew up around the corner from a volunteer fire house and all they ever ...

Here's A Gallery Of Some Constipated-Looking Olympic Divers
Yahoo has a great collection of the ridiculous faces divers make while spinning and flipping and plummeting down to their watery landing. Check it out for a few hearty laughs. [Yahoo] Photo via AP...

Ron Paul Gets Inducted Into Congressional Baseball Hall Of Fame, Wears Hideous Jersey
We can thank Meredith Shiner, of the Capitol Hill paper of record—Roll Call, for this snapshot of bold decision maker Ron Paul....

"I Am A Little Worried To Be...On The Electronics": Thunder Storm Terrorizes Professional Baseball Grounds Crew
Courtesy of Aaron Morse, the voice you hear broadcasting, comes video of this wild thunder storm rain delay. The game between the Joliet Slammers and Southern Illinois Miners on Friday night was delayed for rain and what appears to be heavy winds. The grounds crew put down the tarp and even, accor...

Leaked Penn State Emails Suggest Joe Paterno Protected Jerry Sandusky
For those still genuflecting at the altar of Paterno, this is bad. According to CNN, Penn State officials were discussing a plan of action to handle the Sandusky mess in 2001 that involved contacting child welfare services. One official spoke with Joe Paterno and the next day, that was no longer the...