e Page 7219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Is Chad Henne Cuddling In A Pajama Onesie

We have written, um, at some length, about why Chad Henne ought to have a starting job in the NFL. Now he does, although it took a season-ending injury to Blaine Gabbert and a 1-9 record for him to get it....

Santa Fired For Telling A 3-Year-Old The Maple Leafs Suck

Here it is, the best thing to come out of Toronto since this picture of Rob Ford drunk. A mall Christmas market Santa traumatizing the very first child on line to meet him....

Rasheed Wallace, Captured In One 56-Second Sequence

Perhaps lost in the action of last night's Knicks-Heat game was the sequence you see above. Nothing all that exciting happens in these 56 seconds, but they do offer a glimpse at just how wonderfully out of shape and unable to give a fuck Rasheed Wallace is. Let's break down his play in this nearly...

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 14 NFL Viewing Maps

The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...

The Dolphins are mad because the Patriots kept running the same play. They should probably be mad they couldn't stop it....

Ray Lewis Has A Terrifying New Facemask

Ray Lewis returned to practice Wednesday for the first time since tearing his tricep in Week 7. He's not eligible to play this Sunday, but the Ravens posted a photo of the new facemask Lewis will be wearing....

Roger Goodell Is Thinking About Eliminating Kickoffs. How Would It Affect NFL Offenses?

Before we start laughing at Roger Goodell's idea—by way of Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano—of eliminating kickoffs and replacing them with punts, let's first analyze what this would mean for the game. The suggestion would work like this: Instead of kicking off after a score or to start a half of play,...

Most Annoying Sports Bloggers, Ranked By Sport

4. Football 3. Hockey 2. Baseball 1. Basketball...

Cockblocked By Creationism!

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Why The NCAA Doesn't Care About Concussions

In the third quarter of a 34-17 loss to Cincinnati this past Saturday, UConn quarterback Chandler Whitmer took what he would later describe as a "bullet to the head." Chandler had suffered a head injury the previous week against Louisville. "We're just trying to be as careful as we can," Huskies coa...

This Detroit Lions Calendar Is A Disaster In Every Way Imaginable

It's well past time for Lions fans to start looking ahead to 2013. With injuries, ineffectiveness, dirty play, and Titus Young just fucking up everywhere, it hasn't been a season to remember in Detroit. So here's to future sucess! This holiday season, buy the Lions fan in your life this 2013 wall ca...

Tom Brady Spawned

According to her Facebook page, Gisele Bundchen, Brazilian supermodel and wife of NFL quarterback Tom Brady, gave birth to a girl on Wednesday. The latest addition to the Brady-Bundchen family is named Vivian Lake. Perhaps the girl will follow her family's tradition of modeling....

Five-Star Recruit Decommits From Auburn University, Even Though He Got An Auburn Tattoo This Summer [UPDATE]

Linebacker Reuben Foster is the top high school prospect at his position, and one of the best in the country. This summer, he had already rescinded his verbal commitment to the University of Alabama and committed to Auburn University thanks to some recruiting by assistant coach Trooper Taylor—the e...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Tony Massenburg, Everywhere Man

A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Mike Francesa Forgot To Turn In His Heisman Vote

The Heisman Trophy winner will be announced this Saturday, and it's going to be a good one. Will it be Johnny Manziel, the dual-threat QB who had to win the starting job and ended up setting SEC passing records? Will it be Manti Te'o, who anchored the defense that led Notre Dame back to the title ...

Kobe Says Many Lakers Were Surprised When Abe Lincoln Died At The End Of <i>Lincoln</i> [Update]

Yesterday was an off day in Oklahoma City for the Lakers, so to bring the scuffling 9-10 team together, they had a boys' night out at the theater. On the program: Steven Spielberg's Lincoln. The ancipation led Pau Gasol to offer perhaps the best and most childlike tweet of the season:...

The Misfit Knicks Stole The Show Last Night

There were two things that were remarkable about last night's New York-Miami game, a 112-92 victory for the antique Knicks. The first, predictably, was LeBron James, who put up 18 points, five rebounds, and seven assists in the first two quarters—a perfectly played half of basketball, and a reminde...

How Did The Raiders Sniff Out This Jailbreak Screen? Maybe Because Peyton Manning Audibled To It With "Prison! Prison!"

The Oakland Raiders didn't shut down many Denver Broncos plays last night, as their defense allowed Peyton Manning to go for 310 yards on 26-for-36 passing and were otherwise steamrolled by running back Knowshon Moreno, who put up 119 yards....

Adam Schefter Made Beanie Wells Look Like A Dick Last Night Because He Sucks At Twitter

While watching last night's Broncos-Raiders game, Cardinals running back Beanie Wells sent out the following innocuous tweet, expressing his views on Peyton Manning:...

Trade Rumor: The Washington Redskins For The FBI

There are two, seemingly unrelated real estate issues in and around our nation's capital. The FBI is seeking to move out of its dilapidated, Brutalist ugly headquarters in downtown Washington, and officials from DC, Maryland, and Virginia are all trying to lure the bureau to their districts. Meanwhi...