e Page 7344 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Help Someone Give Away Her Cubs Tickets To A Family Who Could Use Them
Journalist Susannah Breslin writes to Deadspin:...

Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

Scott Pioli Says He's Happy To Be Rid Of Todd Haley In The Most Passive-Aggressive Way Possible
This story was published Friday evening, so it fell a bit below our radar. But it's still worth sharing because, well ... you'll see. It involves Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli, and his take on training camp now that Todd Haley is no longer the team's head coach. Oh, wait. Pioli doesn't really s...

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Who Will Tell The Children?
Last season, we learned that a fat guy who throws a baseball was much more than a fat guy who throws a baseball—the pitching performances of Bartolo Colon were nothing less than an ongoing assay of the human condition. One bad start against the Toronto Blue Jays was a sign that we live in a world wi...

Roger Clemens And The Astros Might Just Be In Cahoots
The Astros have a lot of problems. Have you seen the lineup they're running out there every night? It's Jose Altuve, Brett Wallace, and then a lot of quadruple-A players with no business sniffing a big-league starting lineup. Need Justin Maxwell? Astros got him. Need Scott Moore? He's a 'Stro. Wonde...

Press Conference By Lawyers For Former Penn State President Graham Spanier Was An Exercise In Bullshit
As expected, the blame-shifting from those at Penn State implicated by the Freeh report has begun. Lawyers for Graham Spanier, the university president fired last November in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, held a press conference in Philadelphia this morning to try and explain their client'...

Novak Djokovic Meets Manhattan, Or Part Of It
I arrived at the corner of 53rd and Fifth Avenue at 9:46 a.m. today, 14 minutes before I expected to meet Novak Djokovic at Uniqlo. This was a mistake. I am not used to meeting athletes at retail stores. You do not arrive a mere 14 minutes early if you expect to meet an athlete....

Mr. Sports Journo, Twitter's Favorite Anonymous Sportswriter, Is Here To Take Your Questions
Twitter is a medium tailor-made for unfiltered opinions and anonymity, and Mr. Sports Journo has excelled in cornering both areas while maintaining an air of mystery going on two years. We don't know who he is (although we certainly have our suspicions). All anyone seems to truly know about him—and...

Batista Takes In An Ashlee Simpson Concert: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Bartolo Colon Tests Positive For Testosterone, Suspended 50 Games
Like his Dominican compatriot Melky Cabrera, who also plays on the west coast and tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games by MLB, Bartolo Colon had recently been playing better than we expected him to. Colon, who pitched for the Yankees last year and Oakland this year, had a ...

Bernie Brewer Wished Randy Wolf A Happy Birthday Right Before Milwaukee Released Him
Bernie Brewer is a fun-loving mascot, even by mascot standards. He wears a mustard mustache and brings joy and malty hops to all the children of the greater Milwaukee area. Usually. Sometimes he has a sick sense of humor. Sometimes he's a raging asshole. Like today....

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...

Area Couple Offended By "Loud, Sexualized, Pagan" Olympics
There is nothing in the world like the letters to the editor section of a small newspaper. Remember the Ohio man who wanted the "bisexual" buckeye removed as the state tree? By definition, the people who write these things have too much time on their hands and a capacity for outrage that only kicks ...

Vlade Divac Says Novak Djokovic Destroyed His Racquets With A Saw After The Olympics
That's according to Drop Shot Dispatch, which translated a report from Vesti Online. Divac, the former NBA player, is now the president of the Serbian Olympic Committee. He was critical of the performance of Serbia's athletes at the recent Olympics, though he did exempt swimmer Milorad Cavic and Djo...

Struggling Mets Add Blogger To Rotation
Nothing signifies failure like bloggers. And nothing signifies a failed business model, an abandoned plan, like having to promote a blogger from his mother's basement and pay him money. The New York Mets—who are a cool 11-25 after the all-star break—are doing just that....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....