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Deadspin Up All Night: Twang Time
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Bryce Harper Named His New Puppy "Swag"
Did you know Nationals wundertool Bryce Harper protects his Tweets? Luckily, Nats Enquirer is here to relay to us that Harper received an adorable chocolate Lab for Christmas, and promptly named it Swag. They're totally off to the park to pick up chicks. [Nats Enquirer]...

Mizzou And North Carolina Will Be Competing For This Broken Trophy
This is what the Independence Bowl trophy used to look like. Now it's a crystal shard on a tiered base. [via Twitter]...

Yorvit Torrealba Receives 66-Game Suspension For Slugging A Venezuelan League Umpire
The Rangers catcher's physically expressed frustration at a prior strike call earned him 66 games in Venezuelan winter ball, which is the rest of this season and all of next. We wonder how broken up he is about it, considering his son was kidnapped in his home country a few years back, and the wor...

Marshawn Lynch's Skittles Sneakers Give Him Superpowers
Before Saturday, no one had rushed for 100 yards against the 49ers defense, and no one had run for a touchdown against the 49ers defense. Before Saturday, nobody had worn Skittles sneakers against the 49ers defense. Correlation is not necessarily causation, but this time it totally was, say scientic...

NBA's Opening Day: A Knuckle-Deep Recap
The NBA's Opening Day spectacular matched such high-profile teams, it was hard to pick winners. Indeed, only a savvy gambler would have tried to take a day of entertainment and turn it into a gold-digging expedition. It all followed on a preseason in which the Mavericks went drilling for oil with t...

We've Identified Jilted Packergirl
Thanks to a tipster whose identity we'll keep secret for his/her own sake, we know the young lady featured in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin is named Annie Wagner (we also heard the cheating ex-boyfriend is a real "douchewibbler"). Here's Annie's Facebook....

Even Santa Claus, Drink In Hand, Heckled LeBron James On Christmas Day
Hey, he had worked his ass off the night before, and he was really looking forward to going to the Mavs' opener, what with it being a Finals rematch and all. Can you blame him for wanting to clean up his beard, kick back with a gin and tonic, and let off a little steam? [That NBA Lottery Pick]...

Green Bay Packers Fan Exacts Phenomenal Revenge On Ex-Boyfriend
Your morning roundup for Dec. 26, the day we learned what a Christmas miracle really is. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yes, That's Golden State Fans Chanting "Beat L.A." About The Clippers
There's some debate about the last time the Clippers were on the business end of a "Beat L.A." chant (ClipperBlog says '05-'06) but it's a bizarre thing to observe nonetheless. Congrats, Clips, you've made it back to the big time. [ESPN]...

Kevin Durant's Christmas Kicks Are The Color Of Money, If That Money Is Pennies
These are the shoes Kevin Durant is wearing right now against the Orlando Magic (see a side pic via CNBC's Darren Rovell) and while I don't think they're as terrible as the Internet reaction suggests they are (sample comment: 'The color is called "horribibad"') they aren't the most attractive shoes...

Your Bears-Packers Christmas Night Open Thread
Here is your Christmas nightcap. Enjoy....

Night Falls On NBA Christmas: Your Magic-Thunder And Clippers-Warriors Open Thread
Oh man, we're sleepy. Aren't you? So much food. So many bûches de nöels. So much nog. Way too much nog. Anyway, basketball! Get psyched. ...

Lions Fan Celebrating Team's Playoff-Clinching Victory Run Over By Bus
A 21-year-old Detroit Lions fan is dead after running into open traffic and being struck by a city bus outside Ford Field. Here's the full report from Fox-2 Detroit; be sure to focus on how many times they use the phrase "by a bus."...

Deadspin Up All Night: Tell Tales
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll have more to come for the later games. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday....

Second Mile's Insurance Company Wants Nothing To Do With Jerry Sandusky
You know you are having a bad year when even an insurance company looks at you with that "yeeesh" look. Well, that is essentially what attorneys for Federal Insurance—the company that insures Second Mile—did in their recently filed lawsuit in federal court in Williamsport. The complaint argues that ...

LeBron James Spent His Offseason Dunking On Small Children: A Video Compilation
The end of the NBA lockout meant one thing (aside from a massive upward redistribution of wealth from the players to the owners): no more videos of LeBron James dunking on kids. But, to celebrate his return this afternoon, let's enjoy them one last time....

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...

TNT's "NBA Forever" Season-Opening Video Is Spectacular
Most attempts at the Forrest Gump-style "modern people placed into old video" are hokey or at the very least poorly-executed, but TNT splashed the rainbow with this video that preceded the opening-day Celtics-Knicks broadcast. ...

This Is Your Last Chance To Vote For The 2011 Deadspin Hall Of Fame
Polls close at 11:59 p.m. (EST) tonight. Here is your roster of nominees:...