e Page 7453 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Better Know An Umpire: Vic Carapazza
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Are You Ready To Dance To The Music Of Caroline Wozniacki? (Features Dog, Tennis Ball)
Fame-chasing tennis underachiever Caroline Wozniacki still hasn't won a Grand Slam, but she has released her first music video, "Oxygen." It's predictably noisy, cheap, and Euro (a German or Belgian shepherd is the star of the video? So is a tennis ball?)...

The Entire Kingdome Visitors' Dugout Is Available On eBay
If you have $7,500 burning a hole in your pocket, 80 uninterrupted feet of unused wall space, and a wife you're not that attached to, this might be the perfect eBay auction for you. The original Kingdome visitors' dugout is up for sale, for anyone who wants to sit in the assprints of all the great M...

Tiger Stadium Turned 100 This Weekend, Too
Fenway Park's boozy birthday party this weekend brought out the hoi polloi in Red Sox history and even a confused-looking Bud Selig. The fortress of Yawkey Way wasn't the only big-league park that opened 100 years ago, though; Tiger Stadium, too, hosted big-league ball for the first time on April 2...

This Drunk Lady Keeled Over In The Aisle During A Mavs Game
Friday night. Dallas. Spotlights beam down on a meaningless game, the playoff-bound (but underwhelming) Mavs against the tanking Golden State Warriors. The game is a spectacle. A party, really. For this lady. Reader and amateur videographer Baron tells us that the lass dances ("inappropriately str...

Hunter Accidentally Shoots Girlfriend, Says He Was Aiming For Hog
Ohio or Florida? Florida. The woman is listed in serious condition, and the man is probably thinking he should have used a different excuse. [WKMG, h/t TheCarlosRuizSpanishEnglishDictionary]...

Panthers Somehow Blame Devils Fans For Ruining Rat-Throwing Tradition
Before their 1995 home opener, a rat entered the Panthers locker room—and was promptly killed with a slapshot by Scott Mellanby. The legend took hold, and as Florida made a finals run, the "rat trick" was born. After Panthers goals and wins, fans would throw hundreds of rubber rats onto the ice....

John Tortorella Uttered Just Six Words During His Entire Media Session Yesterday
"No." "I don't know." "Both." "Good?" The complete exchange of questions and, um, answers lasted for 26 seconds. [WSJ]...

Why Did We Ever Think Ron Artest Was Interesting?
I was one of those Internet people who participated in the rebranding of Ron Artest when he arrived in L.A. a couple years ago. I wrote a sidebar to this Maxim article that branded Artest as the NBA's most lovable goofball, an article included bullshit quotes like this one from Phil Jackson:...

Reggie Evans Was Not Elbowed By Metta World Peace, But He Flopped Like He Was
The Hornets' Greivis Vasquez was initially whistled for a Flagrant Foul 2 for what he did here to Reggie Evans after Evans set a hard screen on him at midcourt. But the call was changed to a plain old personal foul against Vasquez after a video review proved Evans was more James Franco than James...

Vancouver Fans Quietly Shuffle Home Without Bothering Anyone
This Canucks season ended slightly more prosaically than the last one. No fires, no broken windows, no hungover city sheepishly cleaning up after itself and swearing that its thousands of jersey-clad rioters in no way represent the fans or Vancouver....

NJ Troopers Under Investigation For Escorting Brandon Jacobs's 100 MPH "Death Race"
New 49ers running back Brandon Jacobs loves him some fast cars. His collection has been featured in auto magazines, and after being booed by Giants fans in October, he responded "I've got nothing positive to say. The most positive thing: I got family at home and I got a fast-ass car being delivered ...

ESPN's Infinite Big Board Shows You All The Upcoming NBA Games, Forever
Yo dawg, we heard you like the NBA Big Board so we put the NBA Big Board in your NBA Big Board so you can look at upcoming games while you look at upcoming games....

Fox Sports Arizona Did A Text Poll Asking Who's The Best In The NL East, And They Listed Every Team Except The Mets
The above comes from the Diamondbacks-Braves game on Sunday afternoon, which Ian Kennedy and company wound up winning 6-4....

Former NBA Big Man Matt Geiger Was "Relocated" From Tropicana Field For Interfering With Carlos Peña On A Foul Ball
On a lazy Sunday in April, Matt Geiger—journeyman center for the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers—probably enjoys soaking in the sun and taking in a ballgame. Not necessarily at the same time, though, since he was at The Trop causing a scene and interfering with Carlos Peña on ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Bring The Rain
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Checking in and out throughout the evening, but take it easy. The A-Team's back tomorrow....

Stalker Sends Olympic High Jumper Ariane Friedrich A Picture Of His Genitals, She Outs Him Via Facebook
Rough times for stalkers/twisted assholes. Not long after Jon Lovitz took to Twitter to expose bullying tween-aged anti-Semites, German Olympian Ariane Friedrich chose to out a man on Facebook for stalking her and sending her a picture of his "genitals," otherwise known as "penis and testicles."...

Metta World Peace's Elbow Waged War On James Harden's Head
Metta World Peace earned an ejection from today's Lakers-Thunder game when his celebration after a second-quarter dunk included an elbow to the side of James Harden's head. ...

It's Official, World's Dumbest Criminal Found After Trying To Sell Weed To His Old Parole Officer
We find our man, Cedrick Barnes, in Florence, South Carolina. It seems Cedrick had some extra weed laying around and thought to himself, "I should really sell this stuff." So Cedrick did what any one of us would have: he started cold-calling everyone in his cell phone contacts to see if anyone want...

Extra, Extra! Read All About It: Tom Brady Dressed Liked A Weirdo
Tom Brady was at the grand opening for some clotheshorse boutique in Boston this weekend with Gisele and posed for this picture with the shop owner. Evidently, he decided to use his wardrobe to pay homage to his old job....