e Page 7743 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Duke Tweets The Dookiest Tweet Imaginable
I'd be a very happy man if someone in the University of Arizona public relations department retweeted this. [@DukeNews]...
Now LeBron Is Insulting Your Intelligence, Too
LeBron James "clarified" his postgame comments about how people who rooted against him were losers with "personal problems"—that is, he shied away from his own quote as if it were a wide-open clutch-time three-point opportunity:...
Luongo's Legacy: Not Tonight
There are two things you should know about Roberto Luongo's final game this season, besides the one thing you will remember....
Roberto Luongo And The Last Stand Of the Superstar Goalie
Playoff hockey belongs to goalies. But recently it's belonged to goalies you've barely heard of beforehand—think of Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Miikka Kiprusoff, Cam Ward, Ilya Bryzgalov, Nikolai Khabibulin, Michael Leighton, Ray Emery, Antti Niemi—many of whom you barely hear of afterward, too. Every g...
Breaking: Bryce Harper Does Something That's Pretty Cool And Won't Offend Anyone
The Chosen One evidently has a habit for sneak-attack leap-frogging his teammates. Those contact lenses are committing a double miracle: a career turnaround, and actual, on-the-record inoffensive behavior. Praise Harper!...
NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....
Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...
This Is The Lone American That Stands Between Soccer And Total Corruption
A lone wolf. An avenging angel. A force for good and justice in FIFA. Chuck Blazer, American hero....
DeShawn Stevenson Arrested For Public Intoxication, Has Also Not Slept In Days
"Irving police said they were called to the Grand Venetian apartments about 10:30 p.m. local time Tuesday to check out a report of an intoxicated person walking in the area. They found [Mavs forward DeShawn] Stevenson, who does not live there, and he did not appear to know where he was." [ESPN]...
99¢ Store Now 75¢ Store In Honor Of LeBron, Because, You Know. That Pesky Fourth Quarter.
Getting old? Getting old. But not just yet! (Let us have the rest of the week, tops.) A Houston-area bargain store is creatively slashing prices, so you can thank LeBron James for savings on off-brand candy and possibly used dinnerware....
How The Hell Did This Car Get Inside This Van?
Police in Germany stopped this Kazakh-plated Sprinter van on the A1 Autobahn after noticing the rear door wasn't quite flush. Upon stopping the vehicle they realized why. A Mazda 626 stuffed inside. Here's the how — and the why. [Jalopnik]...
The Canucks Are On The Verge Of Historical Mediocrity
If the Bruins go on to win the Stanley Cup despite an inferior resume to that of the Canucks, no one will blink. There's nothing unusual about the better team losing a playoff series. Seven games isn't enough to guarantee a representative result. But if the Canucks win, they'll cap off one of the mo...
Nationals Unveil "Iconic, Defining Element," A Hamburger You Can Get At The Mets Game
Nationals Park is clean, cozy, semi-convenient, and all-around quite serviceable as a major league ballpark. But nothing there grabs you like PNC Park's view, or AT&T Park's bay, or Minute Maid Park's stupid hill. Nationals Park is a forgettable place to watch a forgettable team. But not any more! (...
Clint Dempsey Will Not Be Composing A Rap Song About This Moment
Your morning roundup for June 15, the day America finally got what it needed: more Fran Drescher....
Women Of The German National Soccer Team Endeavor To Show They Are Not "Butch" By Posing For <i>Playboy</i>
This may or may not be a good thing for women's sports:...
Emotional Story Inspires ESPN Anchor To Quote Mariah Carey
There's a lot going on here. A lot of stimuli, you know. Let's break it down....
PGA's Young Golfers Form Parody Boy Band, Sing And Rap Horribly, We All Die A Little Inside
Tipster William writes in to alert us to "some kind of music group [Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler, Hunter Mahan, and Ben Crane] have put together." He says it seems like it's a joke and publicity stunt. And it's "very, very lame."...
German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With Defeating "Ghetto Basketball"
We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original....
The FBI Is Investigating The Tyler Hamilton-Lance Armstrong Restaurant Run-In
Move this story off Versus and onto TruTV—the feds are getting involved and talking about witness tampering. Whoa....
Yes, Mark Cuban Takes The Trophy To The Urinal With Him
He will not let the Larry O'Brien Trophy out of his sight, evidently, and with good reason. Congratulations, sir, you've earned it. Just watch the spatter....