e Page 7763 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Wants To Publicly Shame Some Gnome-Happy Brewers Fans?
The Brewers and the Milwaukee Parks Department teamed up to hide 1000 of these little Bernie Brewer gnomes along the Lakefront, with the public free to take one if they found it. Well, some folks got there at 3 a.m. and started taking as many as their cars could hold. And of course, they're selling ...

An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...

Everyone Hates Everyone In Baseball
The Reds' ace called out the hitters. Fred Wilpon talked shit about everyone. And now Brian Fuentes is talking shit about manager Bob Geren to the media....

Ja'Juan Story Sincerely Regrets Telling Everyone His Doodoo Story
Last week, we brought you the charming story of Florida football recruit Ja'Juan Story, who abandoned all interview protocol and told Gator Country that he prepares for games by "taking a doodoo" and listening to Katy Perry songs. Today, we're sorry to report that he has reneged on his claims, and w...

The Toughest Driver At Indy Is A Woman, And She’s Not Danica Patrick
The most popular racer in this year Indianapolis 500 is this 22-year-old Swiss woman who managed to qualify for the race despite second-degree burns on her hands. Take that, Danica Patrick. [Jalopnik]...

If Lenny Dykstra Asks You To Leave Somewhere And Go With Him, You Probably Shouldn't Do It
Giving Doc Gooden bad advice is like buying the Pope a crucifix: he's received more than his fair share over the years, and probably doesn't need any more. So we're glad he ignored Dykstra's efforts to bust him out of "Celebrity Rehab." [CBS]...

MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....

Watch This 13-Year-Old Score A Rooneyesque Bicycle Kick Goal
Que golazo by this adolescent from the Civitans Bengals in Arlington, Virginia. I grew up in Arlington playing soccer and not hitting bicycle kicks like this. Note the kids on the other team putting hands to head, utterly demoralized. That's what a chilena will do for you. It's like 20 slam dunks ...

Secret Service Can't Protect George W. Bush From Foul Ball
They'll take a bullet for the former president, but they can't save him from a lazy foul pop into the box seats in Arlington. Neither could A.J. Pierzynski:...

Why Coaches Rarely Show Players How They Really Feel
Your morning roundup for May 24, the day we masturbated in Row 18 on the flight to Denver. Photo of Tottenham's Harry Redknapp's motivational techniques from the Guardian's year in soccer photos. H/t Michael T....

Here's Tim Thomas With The Best Save Of The Playoffs
That endorsement from hockey minds across Twitter tonight. Steve Downie, in a one-goal game, would probably agree....

Here's A Photo Of Every Single Tampa Bay Lightning Fan
All 800 of them, sending their beloved team off yesterday. Organized on Facebook (of course) and by the team (grassroots it is not), every single man woman or child that roots or ever rooted for the Lightning gathered in a parking lot at Tampa International Aiport and stood in the shape of a lightni...

We Are All Dave McKenna CVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit self-immolates in shame....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
The Masked Man pays tribute to the late Randy Savage, a paranoid, a postmodern monologist, a bad guy for everybody to love. READ » • ALSO: Ric Flair's eulogy | Savage's halfway decent baseball career | Miss Elizabeth, RIP...

Ric Flair's WOOlogy For Randy Savage
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Nature Boy reminisces about Wrestlemania, and launches the Macho Man's candidacy for the...

A Rigorous Taxonomy And Analysis Of Lucky Charms From The 2011 NBA Draft Lottery
The darling of the NBA draft lottery last week was a sickly imp in a bowtie. The year before that it was a sorrowful widow in pearls. How did this come to pass? You can thank superstition (although not me for bringing you this post a week late). Sadly, too many NBA teams and executives still ignore ...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday....

Cash-Filled Envelopes And Other Peculiars From Sepp Blatter's Reelection Campaign
It's hard to keep track of the political gyrations at FIFA these days, especially with president and Swiss money-eel Sepp Blatter running for reelection. Corruption charges have been flying since former FA head and England's 2018 World Cup campaign chairman Lord Triesman told the British Parliament ...

It Only Takes Charles Barkley Two Fingers To Best Your Four-Letter Chant
Chuck is on a roll. Even after getting a little political, he can still say whatever he wants and flip off whomever he pleases, so long as it's not on the air. Miami fans are sour that he called their team "a whiny bunch" last week; Barkley is operating under the correct assumption that he can do ...

UPDATE: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $116.80 This Month, But He Has A Credit
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....