e Page 7785 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Ross Will Escort Manny Pacquiao For Mosley Fight
Today in delightful cultural crossover: über-icon Manny Pacquiao will join forces with über-icon-in-his-own-mind Rick Ross before he fights über-39-year-old Sugar "Shane" Mosley, who is but a pawn in this sick, sick game, next Saturday....

Even Your TV Can't Believe How Poorly The Vikings Drafted
From the program description on AT&T U-verse digital TV, the nameless captioning robot torches Christian Ponder, or perhaps Minnesota personnel guru Rick Spielman. [h/t Brian and Brendan]...

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Royal Wedding Wins Race
Hours after simpleton Middleton and doubly-crowned Prince William wed today, a horse named Royal Wedding won the 5.30 steeplechase at Fontwell, Sussex by three lengths. If this was fixed, it was at a great cost: bookies are predicting a multi-million pound payout, because everyone the world over bel...

Paul Shirley And The Fat Woman Get Political
You remember Paul Shirley. We once described him as a "onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters." At the time we were discussing his controversial freelance piece on post-earthquake Haiti, and certain points like asking them to "use a condom once in a while."...

Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...

Lockout's Back On (UPDATE: Maybe Sort Of Not Yet)
Sorry, folks....

Frank McCourt Is Basically Charlie Sheen, At This Point
Kind-of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt toured cable television yesterday, pleading his case. Here are some of the things he said. They are totally not the ramblings of a man who has lost all money and control....

Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....

A Brief Examination Of Mick Foley's EBay Firesale
In an attempt to help his son "put gas in the car," lovable polymath wrestler Mick Foley has put up his entire boyhood sports memorabilia collection through a seller on eBay. Dude Love is clearly a sports fan. He was an active collector in the early 1970s, focused on baseball and basketball. He's se...

A Good Old Fashioned Pussyblock!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...

As Good As It Feels, Coaches Probably Shouldn't Hit Reporters
Randers FC had a rough season, just barely escaping being relegated from the Danish Superliga. So it's inevitable that the media wanted to talk to manager Ove Christensen, and also inevitable that Christensen wouldn't want to talk....

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Your Royal Wedding Open Thread
Right, so this is about to happen. Don't even pretend like you've above this, because you watch pro sports, and there's nothing less inherently important than pro sports. Also, David Beckham got an invite, so this is relevant....

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

This Is Exactly What You'd Expect Jerry Jones's "War Room" To Look Like, Isn't It?
Tipster Eric asks, "Was there a little person in the Cowboys war room or a teenager?" That's easy. Totally a kid. Here's the important question: What were Isaac Chroner's specific instructions when he helped the lad* infiltrate the Dallas organization?...

How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...