e Page 7787 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Gary Neal's Buzzer-Beating Three Keeps The Spurs Alive
Gary Neal, everyone's favorite 26-year-old rookie/former Turkish basketball star/mystery man, was naturally the one to rescue the Spurs' season with this buzzer-beating three-pointer over O.J. Mayo on Wednesday night....

Here's Video Of An Egyptian Soccer Player Named Shadi Mohamed Apparently Spitting On His Goalie
It didn't much matter to Mohamed Sobhi that he and his Ismaily teammates were up 3-2 in the waning moments of their match against El Gounah. What mattered most to the goalkeeper was that he apparently thought his defender Shadi Mohamed spat in his face after some action in front of the net....

Both Barcelona And Real Madrid Managed To Embarrass Real Madrid During, After El Clásico IV
FC Barcelona's Lionel Messi, unarguably the best soccer player on the face of the Earth, scored two goals within 11 minutes during Wednesday's first-leg UEFA Champions League semifinal match against Real Madrid....

Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...

Today In Great Quotes
"I didn't touch her," Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn't "even like black girls." — Per ESPN, prosecutors filed paperwork in Superior Court in Washington saying that if football-player extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth agrees to plead guilty to simple assault t...

<em>Madden</em> Gets in Trouble for Outing a Team's New Uniform
EA Sports uploaded - then quickly yanked - a YouTube video teasing Madden NFL 12 Madden junkies love to pick these things apart for clues about this year's new features. In so doing, they also found the Buffalo Bills' new… [Kotaku] ...

Figure Skater Gracefully Elbows The Shit Out Of Her Partner's Face
At the world figure skating championships today, Canadian Eric Radford took the full force of his spinning partner's elbow to the face at the start of their routine. The graceful attack came at the end of a triple Lutz-twist lift, which is apparently a thing that people know about — and even with ...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Miami Heat, Memphis Grizzlies and Oklahoma City Thunder can all advance to the next round of the playoffs with Game 5 victories this evening....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Let's look at tonight's pair of Game Sevens through the lens of potential second-round match-ups....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....

Yankees Accidentally Leak Personal Info Of 20,000 Season Ticket Holders
The New York Yankees accidentally distributed a file containing information on more than 20,000 season ticket accounts. The spreadsheet contains account numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses, and was mistakenly sent to thousands of current clients....

Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...

The Bunny Video To End All Bunny Videos
This bunny was paraplegic, but that didn't diminish his joie de vivre. And luckily, he had an enterprising child-inventor friend who made him an ATB (All-Terrain Bunny) vehicle so he could get around more easily. Watch the whole video for Joe the Bunny's full story, or skip to the three-minute mark ...

"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...

Clint Dempsey Bangs One In With A Flying Side Volley
You know what's hard to do? This. Clint Dempsey has never embraced the workmanlike Yankee style that many American players appear to have stuck in their chromosomes. The man takes risks. He's good at it. It's why he's good....

Peyton Hillis Is <em>Madden NFL 12</em>'s Cover Star
Fans selected Peyton Hillis, the Cleveland Browns running back, to grace the cover of Madden NFL 12. Hillis prevailed in a five-week, tournament style vote-off that drew nearly 13 million votes, and was the final round winner over Philadelphia Eagles… [Kotaku] ...

Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $80.21
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Your Real Madrid-Barcelona Tercero Clásico Open Thread
Lots of really awesome and famous soccer players will play soccer against each other in Madrid in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. Cristiano Ronaldo will wow. Lionel Messi will wow. And the two team coaches, er, managers, will definitely wow. They always do. Sometimes the action ...