e Page 7796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Notre Dame's Explanation For Declan Sullivan's Death Is Conciliatory, Still Not Good Enough
Notre Dame has said and done all the right things in the wake of the death of Declan Sullivan, whose scissor lift toppled over in high winds while the junior student was filming practice. (That's somewhat refreshing in light of their less-than-transparent treatment of the suicide of Lizzy Seeburg)....

Smallest Fish Wins Fishing Competition
So, I learned this today: apparently there are fishing competitions where the winning fish is decided by most spots, not by weight. But, to qualify as an actual fish, and not a fish niblet, it has to meet the state minimum for length. In Florida, redfish have to be 18 inches....

We Need Youth Baseball Teams To Reenact MLB Highlights For Us Because MLB Hates Its Fans (And Probably Children, Too)
We've been playing a fun game with the MLB video team for the past few weeks. It goes something like this: We post a highlight video from a game; they promptly email us with an informal cease-and-desist note; we take down the video and complain about it. ...

MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...

The Good, The Bad, And The Doughnuts
Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts....

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

Victor Ortiz Versus Andre Berto Round Six: A Lesson In Gameness
Welterweights Victor Ortiz and Andre Berto put it down on Saturday night for the WBC title. It was the kind of fight where you catch yourself yelling at the TV, then step back and marvel that you're yelling at the TV while watching boxing, which gives you flashbacks to when you used to do that sor...

UGA Recruits Rob UGA Locker Room On UGA Recruiting Visit
We love this story, and you might too depending on your feelings toward SEC football and certain programs. Three people have been arrested in connection with stolen property from the Georgia locker room, and police say the suspects are recruits. That sound you just heard was the exploding heads of t...

Sean Avery Leaning On His Own Stick Until It Breaks Is Probably A Metaphor For Something
Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a better gift for [Valentine's] day than chocolates."...

Let's Watch The Brawl That Added To The Widespread "Mayhem" At Rutgers U This Weekend
Shit got real at Rutgersfest 2011 to the point where the folks over at Bob's Blitz declared the shootings and evacuations "helped transform New Brunswick into Eastern Libya."...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is bludgeoned to death....

Here's Video Of A Really Cool Goal From A Dutch Soccer Match Yesterday
In yesterday's Dutch league action, Roda was up 4-2 on VVV Venlo. That's when Pa Modou Kah, described as a Gambian/Norwegian defender, decided to go all "pretty scissor kick" to add a fifth goal to the tally....

Here's Video Of The Nick Saban Statue Descending "From The Clouds Of Heaven"
Not one to be outdone by statue-unveiling Florida and/or statue-announcing Auburn, the Crimson Tide made a nine-foot statue of Nick Saban available for everyone in Tuscaloosa to see yesterday....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
It's onto Game Threes. The Capitals try to go up 3-0 on the Rangers at 3 p.m. [Washington Post]. The Canucks will attempt to do same to the Blackhawks at 8 p.m. [Vancouver Sun]....

Colin Cowherd Will Have You Know His Script Can Get Worse By The Hour
Back in February, we brought you the Awful Pilot for Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show. It was doubly awful. Read it here if you're so inclined....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
Four more Game Ones today. At 1 p.m., it's Memphis at San Antonio [The Commercial Appeal] followed by New Orleans at the Lakers [The Times-Picayune]....

Listen To Deadspin's Emma Carmichael on NPR's "All Things Considered"
Deadspin's Emma Carmichael joined NPR's All Things Considered on April 17, 2011 to talk about the impact robo reporters have on sports reporting. Listen here....

The World Famous USC Song Girls Drench Themselves In A Pool For Charity
By 9 a.m., two separate collections of photos from yesterday's "USC Swim with Mike Foundation" charity event where "the Trojan Song Girls don bikinis and swim a relay race" were sent in. For such vigilance, both "T-H" of BeatSC.com and Joe from Busted Coverage receive heartfelt attaboys....

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

There Are No Winners In Louisiana Jello Wrestling, Only Screams And Suggestive Techniques
People say we don't offer enough coverage of wrestling, the caveat being that the dearth applies to wrestlers not yet dead. Fair enough....