e Page 7799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh Great, Somebody Sent A Link To Another Horrendously Infuriating Canucks "Parody" Video
Writes tipster Ian White, "Now, on the heels of the Rebecca Black Friday parody, this just continues to prove that Canucks fans are the most creative out there. The cup is ours this year. Go Canucks Go."...

The Owl-Kicking Panamanian Soccer Player Has Acquired A Taste For Human Ribs
Remember when Luis Moreno of Deportivo Pereira kicked an opposing team's mascot — a living, breathing, hooting owl — to help save its wide-eyed soul in February, but it ended up dying of shock? Yeah, well, Moreno's back in the kicking-creatures business, and business is good....

Of Course Somebody In NWA Gear Recorded Barry Bonds's Post-Verdict Press Conference
If you care about the intricacies of where the Barry Bonds case goes from here, the Silicon Valley Mercury News posted, not very long ago, a story which states:...

A Bunch Of People Came Up With $25K So UConn Basketball Players Can Ride On Parade Floats After All
Yesterday, Mike Zaleski, executive director of the Hartford Business Improvement District, said if he couldn't get his fingers wrapped around $25K by Friday, there would be no parade to commemorate the victors of one of the worst college-basketball championship games in the history of round object...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
At 7 p.m., the Canadiens visit the Bruins. Then, the Flyers host the Sabres. Finally, the nightcap features the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks. HOCKEY. (PHOTO: Afflictor)...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIX (Alleged Arson Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit burns burns burns. Mwahahahahaha!...

If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected (UPDATE: Statements from Red Wings, Police)
Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice....

Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...

Rio Ferdinand Is Cyberbullying Piers Morgan And His Moobs, For Some Reason
Cyberbullying is not funny. And it's certainly not funny when the former captain of England and the host of one of America's most influential talk shows [Deadspin editor's note: No.] start having a go at each other on Twitter....

Kobe Is Sorry, But It Wasn't A Damn Foul
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Kobe Bryant talks about the gay and lesbian community....

The Sultan Of Twat: Babe Ruth's Swinging First Few Years With The Yankees
The following is excerpted from Weintraub's The House That Ruth Built, about Babe Ruth, the Yankees, and the 1923 baseball season....

The Cowbell Tolls For The Sacramento Kings
The Kings played what was likely their final game in Sacramento last night, and it ended in a 116-108 overtime loss to the Lakers. The finality of the night, along with a sell-out crowd that showed the kind of affection and made the kind of noise you'd never find at the Staples Center 400 miles so...

Wizards Don't Want You Giggling At The Prospect Of Two Men Kissing On Their Kiss-Cam
Unless you're into losing, the best part of a Wizards game for many years has been the kiss-cam, a silly distraction during timeouts that puts an opposite-sex couple in the crowd on the big screen and urges them to smooch. It's funny because you never know if the people actually will kiss. You don't...

Here’s Part Two Of Our (Nearly) Exhaustive Video Compilation Of Blake Griffin Dunks
Just before the All-Star break, we provided you with a video compilation of Blake Griffin posterizing from the first half of his rookie year. In the second half of the season, it seemed like we'd all grown accustomed to what Griffin's capable of doing when he elevates towards a basketball hoop. It...

Wally Backman Verbally Assaults His Team, Part 158
Wally's back, thanks to the creators of Playing For Peanuts, who sent over this clip of the former Mets player (then manager of the South Georgia Peanuts, currently manager of the Binghamton Mets) sharing his thoughts with his team after a loss. One thing we've certainly learned this week: Wally l...

A Quintessential Night In An American Hospital
Going to the hospital sucks. Aggressively. Hospitals know this, of course. But they have no interest in NOT sucking because if going to the hospital were pleasant and breezy, then everyone would go and the staff would be overloaded and have little or no time to fuck each other in the laundry room. E...

A Guide To Augusta National, Courtesy Of A Pro Golfer's Yardage Book
Golf WRX presents a page-by-page view of Kevin Streelman's yardage book from the 2011 Masters. You know when you're watching golf, and you think, "How the hell did he decide to do that?" Here's some insight. [Golf WRX, H/T SponsoredbyV8]...

News Reports That Subtly Point Out That Al Davis Is Not In Fact "Doing Fine": A Gallery
There were unsubstantiated reports this week that Raiders owner Al Davis was in declining health and had been in the hospital. The Raiders denied this....

The Stupid Barry Bonds Prosecution, In A Stupid Nutshell
As you all know, Barry Bonds was convicted yesterday on a single count of rambling in the first degree. (No, seriously. Seven years of this shit, and that's what they got him on — evading a question he ultimately answered. Aggravated incoherence. A felony charge of Not Being Freaking Pericles in the...

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....