e Page 7807 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

When European Basketball Fans Get Excited, They Light Their Stadiums On Fire
Here we were thinking VCU fans were having "riots" last week, but they're nothing compared to Panathinaikos BC fans. In this European basketball game last Thursday against Barcelona, Greek basketball fans torched their own stadium. Yes, what you see above is a basketball game — not a race riot....

Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...

Snooki Body Slams Michelle McCool, And Other Great Moments From WrestleMania 27
For those of you who didn't have the $54.50 to spend on pay-per-view this weekend, we have compiled the best moment's from Sunday night's WrestleMania 27. There were many highlights: Snooki did a backflip, Stone Cold Steve Austin laid the smack down, and Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool wrestled ...

UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...

Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Your UConn-Butler NCAA Championship Open Thread
This one's for a considerable amount of the Tostitos. Will it be the likable Bulldogs, swiftly moving from giant-killers to giants? Or the Huskies, who haven't lost since we still considered the Big East fearsome?...

We Are All Dave McKenna LX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is shillelaghed into the hereafter....

Kris "The Incredible Hump" Humphries Would Like You To Vote For Him For Some Things
It's been one of those seasons, right down to the Nets PR guy accidentally emailing his media contact list to complain that he couldn't find anyone to buy his tickets off of him. (Yes, that's a thing that actually happened.)...

Former National Still Hiding Out In the Women's Bathroom
That's Josh Willingham camped out on an ad in the ladies' room at Nationals Park, despite having been sent to Oakland in December. He joins Strasburg and Harper as featured team ambassadors who aren't actually on the team. [via DC Sports Bog]...

Roger Clemens, Mike Piazza Make Nice
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....

Cats vs. Dogs: Here Are Your Ferocious Final Four!
What a long, strange trip it's been! As we near the end of the road, we have just two clawing, crazy kitties and two snarling dogs left. The journey has not been without surprises and upsets. And questions! What happened to Pit Bull? Why did the mighty Tiger fall? Who among us would believe Lion wou...

(Un)dead Wrestler Of The Week: The Undertaker
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today we have a special edition of Dead Wrestler of the Week: The Undertaker, who defeated Triple H last night in WrestleMania 27 and who, while still very much alive, has long been a death-obsessed figure in a de...

Muppet Goalie Lawsuit? Muppet Goalie Lawsuit
Arsenal's Jens Lehmann is suing fellow goalie Tim Wiese of Werder Bremen for telling media Lehmann should "go to the Muppet Show" back in September. He's seeking $28,000....

Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...

Did The Clippers' PR Guy Scrub Donald Sterling's Wikipedia Page?
An eagle-eyed tipster alerts us to this revision on Donald Sterling's Wikipedia page, which scrubbed the six-part "Controversies" section but added some heartwarming notes....

Wayne Rooney Scored A Hat Trick, Swore In Celebration, Got A Two-Match Ban
Premier League justice is worse than Sheriff Goodell's....

If A Hockey Writers' Protest Emerges From Long Island, And No One Hears It...
So, as surprising as the thought might be, there is a hockey team playing its games in Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, best known to you as the venue that hosted that awful concert you once had to drag your niece to. That hockey team is the 30-37-12 New York Islanders, which even has a couple spr...