e Page 7971 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Where Were You (/Will You Have Been)?
Certain moments in our lives we will always remember....
Is This Normal?
There's something in this article that is incredibly weird and scary. So, as you prepare to read it...just be cool. Relax your shoulders. Buy a nice sound machine and set it to "Babbling Brook." Take deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth....
Titties Vs. VORP
Yo, you like tits? Yeah, me too. Titties is awesome....
Let’s Welcome Special Guest Bill Conlin As He Helps Me Criticize Bill Conlin
Junior: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a Fire Joe Morgan first....
Playing Down To Your Audience
Hey, kids — Mitch Albom has some advice for you! And here it is!...
EXTRA! EXTRA! Jeter Has Best Year Yet!
Have you heard that Derek Jeter's having an off year? It's total horseshit! Derek Jeter is the sixth-best hitter in baseball this year. It's completely true!...
Welcome, Strident Nerds!
We are the surviving members of a blog that used to exist called Fire Joe Morgan....
Mike Vick Will Keep Being Best Quarterback In Universe Ever On Sunday, Usually Illogical Coach Declares
Somebody grab a tin bucket and a bag of sawdust because I'm about to puke excitement all over this page. Andy Reid, more stubborn than the most stubborn hanging toenail on the stubbornest toe, has apparently had his head surgically removed from his big red ass and is starting...MIKE VICK THIS SUNDAY...
Here's A Video Of Tony Kornheiser Teaching Bill Simmons How To Wear A Tie
The Sports Fella's hosting PTI for the rest of the week, so it looks like we'll be watching PTI this week. There you go, indeed, Tony. H/T Trey Kerby....
The Jets Introduced A Car Service For Players The Week Before Braylon Edwards's DUI
As pointed out this morning (and ReTweeted by Peter King — cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria), the most galling thing about Edwards driving drunk is the sheer number of alternatives. Here's another one: the Jets provide free cars and drivers....
Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Controversial World Cup Referee Busted With Whole Lotta Heroin At Airport
Byron Moreno, a former FIFA referee was arrested at JFK airport with over six KG of heroin. According to Google Translate translation, Moreno was controversial, "bleeped in Korea," and hid "the drug in her underwear." Got it. [CRE Satelital]...
We Have Chosen A Winner Of The Jason Whitlock Photoshop Contest (Gallery)
Yesterday's Jason Whitlock Photoshop Cattle Call provided us with a host of wonderful pictures, but we had to narrow them down to this gallery and pick a winner. Winner and honorable mentions after the jump (second prize, pictured here, goes to Murray Hewitt; good show)....
You Catch A Helmet At A Football Game, You Get Yourself A Radio Interview
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the guy who caught Brandon Jacobs's helmet....
You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....
Screw You And Your Iowa Shirt
It's my anniversary today, and when you've been married eight years and have small children, you are free to do away with all the bells and whistles an anniversary is supposed to entail....
Little Kid Definitely Does Not Want To Be Put In The Auburn Store
This tyke has an SEC-Speed meltdown at the mall after a seemingly empty threat. Laugh now, until it comes out that "The Auburn Store" is code for some kind of sex dungeon. [via Gossip Sports]...
David Beckham And Gordon Ramsey "Caught In Gunfight"
Sweary TV chef Gordon Ramsay has revealed he and bessie mate David Beckham had to cut short a recent bonding/camping trip to the outskirts of LA after waking up to a rousing chorus of *pew pew pew*...