e Page 8004 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like Fencing, But With Sex Toys
Because when's the last time you saw someone get knocked out with a 7-pound dildo? [Video via here, music via Star Trek]...
Clemens Fires Back; Are Tweets Under Oath?
The Rocket, responding to his indictment on perjury charges: "I never took HGH or Steroids. And I did not lie to Congress. I look forward to challenging the Governments accusations, and hope people will keep an open mind until trial." [Twitter]...
Remind Us Never To Question Married People And The Weird Things They Do
"Jessica," subject of last night's half-assed marriage proposal, popped in to the comments to let us know the deal. Oh, you crazy kids....
Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...
Community College Baseball Player Has The Heart Of A Champion
Alec Cortez, of San Bernardino Valley College, sent this video to more than 100 schools, just looking for a chance to show of his skills. And what skills they are....
Dwyane Wade Thinks LeBron James Has Handled Himself Very Well This Summer
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dwyane Wade. ...
Whitlock Will Discuss His <em>Star</em> Departure In A Three-Hour Multiplatform Media Extravaganza, BBQ Included
Very, very controversial Jason Whitlock is taking to the airwaves tomorrow to explain why he's leaving The Kansas City Star. This apparently requires two broadcast media, $300 worth of barbecue, three hours in all, and perhaps the crew of the S.S. Minnow....
Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....
Summermodo: Best Gear For Bike Geeks
Studies show biking aficionados of a certain age do well in the romance department. If your bike was tricked out with this LiveRider kit that turns your iPhone into a wireless cycling computer, you'd have to use an app to juggle all of your dates. LiveRider is only one of the cool cycling-related it...
The Oxford English Dictionary Now Being Interrupted With Buzzing Sound
Vuvuzelas have reached the big time, having been added to the newest edition of the OED along with such other words that we'll be using forever and ever as "staycation," "bromance," "chillax," and "interweb"—singular. [NYT]...
Chad Ochocinco Is A Hypocrite When It Comes To Dick Towels
Today Ochocinco Tweeted a picture of himself wearing a dick towel. So why did he refuse to be associated with one at the Super Bowl?...
The Definitive LeBron Takedown
Comedian Mike Polk wins the hearts and mind of Clevelanders with a little ditty "LeBron James is a Bitch." And you know in the entertainment biz, Cleveland is just a step down from Branson....
Roger Clemens To Be Charged With Lying To Congress About Scary, Scary Drugs
The feds, basking in the glow of their wildly successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, will reportedly indict Roger Clemens on charges that he made false statements to Congress about his PED use. [NYT]...
Abbey Clancy Decides To Forgive Naughty Peter Crouch
Those who enjoyed yesterday's particularly good looking list of Women Scorned might have noticed that around 33.3 percent of them still managed to forge ahead with their relationships in spite of the various allegations regarding French underpants models and saggy 93-year-old prostitutes....
The Least Enthusiastic Team Fight Song Ever Recorded
This is the Toms River, NJ, little league team being forced to perform the song they wrote. Put it in night vision, and it's indistinguishable from a hostage video. [Star-Ledger]...
Vin Scully Doesn't Understand Your Newfangled Haircut, Troy Tulowitzki
In the 6th inning of last night's Rockies-Dodgers game, Vin Scully decided to carefully examine Troy Tulowitzki's hairstyle after learning it is called a mullet, which to Scully had always been—and always will be—a type of fish. Listen. [Wezen-Ball]...
What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...
Tony Reali Is Kind Of A Dick In Intramural Soccer
So says a woman who plays against him in a DC rec league, writing that he's irritating on the field, condescending to girls, and wears "too much product." [Deuce of Davenport]...