e Page 8005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vin Scully Doesn't Understand Your Newfangled Haircut, Troy Tulowitzki
In the 6th inning of last night's Rockies-Dodgers game, Vin Scully decided to carefully examine Troy Tulowitzki's hairstyle after learning it is called a mullet, which to Scully had always been—and always will be—a type of fish. Listen. [Wezen-Ball]...

What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...

Tony Reali Is Kind Of A Dick In Intramural Soccer
So says a woman who plays against him in a DC rec league, writing that he's irritating on the field, condescending to girls, and wears "too much product." [Deuce of Davenport]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Colt McCoy And The Texas Quarterback Miracle
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Colt McCoy, quarterback of quarterbacks....

Bull Escapes Bullring — Through The Crowd
Forty people were injured when a panicked bull made a break for it into the stands at a Spanish bullring yesterday, though no one was killed. Except the bull, of course. [AFP]...

Last Night's Winner: Antonio Cromartie's Seed
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Antonio Cromartie's many many children, who each got a mention on last night's Hard Knocks, even if he had to use his fingers and toes to count them....

How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And The Lucky Individual Who Gets To Spend The Afternoon At Tomorrow's Yankees Game Is...
Barbara Claire, from Waterford, Connecticut...come the fuck on down! Barbara's winning comment below....

Brett Favre's Press Conference, Remixed Flatulently
Brett Favre held a press conference today to officially announce he was returning to the Vikings for one more failed Super Bowl run. While he discussed the physical toll that the game has taken on him, it became clear: Brett's really old....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Michael Jordan," Playing Dodgeball In Williamsburg
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Hipster Jordan. Player: Michael Jordan Team: 1992 U.S. men's national basketball team Ubiquity: Fairly high Scene: Williamsburg Cut Copy show/"Pool Party" Unnecessarily Decimaled Score Ou...

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 1
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 1: "Fuck" narrowly edges "shit."...

Mystery Solved? Arkansas Reporter Was Supposedly Fired For Using Twitter, Not For Her Florida Hat
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: an unemployed radio reporter and her ex-boss....

Rick Reilly® Writes Column A Lot Like Other Rick Reilly® Column
When he isn't squirting various hypothetical juices in various hypothetical eyes, Rick Reilly® is usually recycling his own material. Yesterday's column finds him complaining about golf's picayune rules. Again....

Your Latest ESPN Sideline Reporter Sex Scandal: Kenny Chesney, Jenn Brown — Doin' It?
So says Star magazine, which caught the duo strolling along the beach in a way that suggests they've strolled along a beach together before. Will this ruin her chances of becoming America's Next Sideline Princess? And— WHAT ABOUT PEYTON? [Star]...

The Manliest Sport In The World
You probably haven't heard of the Fight Football League. By the time you finish reading this post, it will be your favorite sport....

White Sox Beat Writer Goes Nuts On Minnesota
Sun-Times reporter Joe Cowley is a homer in a city of media homers. But his Twitterrhea explosion last night against the Twins and their fans was something else. Stereotypes about being ugly? Calling players jag-offs? Mocking the dead? Check, check and double-check....

Tremendous Johnson's Long Hard Road To Madden
Anyone can succeed with the NFL's actual superstars in Madden 11, but there's a certain joy in finding fictional prospects from franchise mode...Wait, is that guy's name really Tremendous Johnson? Time to investigate....

Is Joey Barton’s Mustache An Homage To A Hooligan Movie?
Of course, the answer to the headline question is no, it probably isn't. It could equally be an homage to Freddie Mercury, or the one with the mustache out of Hall and Oates [Ed. It's Oates]....

Random Reader Email: The Creepiest Home Invasion Ever
Here's a poor soul who walked into their apartment one morning to find a stranger there. Jarring, right? But it's so random and weird that...well just read it....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: What Lance Cade's Death Means For Linda McMahon's Senate Bid
Every week or so, the Masked Man honors the wrestling's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Lance Cade, who died on Friday of heart failure. He was 29. Already his death has become an issue in former WWE CEO Linda McMahon's Senate campaign....