e Page 8033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hipsters Are Wearing Your Old NBA Jerseys
This gallery of Pitchfork Festival denizens provides definitive proof that hipsters are now wearing old NBA jerseys at an even more obnoxious rate than previously imagined. But you probably haven't heard of these players, they're pretty obscure. [The Faster Times]...
Reggie Bush Has Heisman Taken Away From Him Even Though He Didn't Kill His Wife And A Waiter
I've been looking for a way to shamelessly steal that Norm Macdonald joke for years now. Thanks USC! [USA Today]...
You Will Never Guess Which <em>First Take</em> Talking Head's Bicep This Is
I know, I guessed Dana Jacobson too, but wrong. Give up? Holy shit, it's Skip Bayless!...
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...
It's Your Last Chance To See Lou Piniella Gesticulate Wildly On The Field
Lou Piniella will retire following this season, adding yet another name to the ignoble list of those the Cubs have irrevocably broken. [Chicago Breaking Sports]...
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....
John Kruk Thinks Prince Fielder Isn't Too Fat
Teams should pay Fielder millions of dollars and not worry about his weight, says a man who was paid millions of dollars and refused to drop pounds. He then proceeded to pick his teeth with one of Mickey Morandini's de-fleshed ribs. [ESPN.com]...
Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....
5 Reasons Toney/Couture Won't Settle The Boxing/MMA Debate
Next month at UFC 118, boxer James Toney will take on mixed martial artist Randy Couture, in a bout some are saying will decide which sport is tops. It will decide no such thing....
The 10 Most Enthralling Transfer Stories Of The Summer
Make no mistake about it, the next couple of months are going to become transfer bonkers. With that in mind, after the jump, you'll find some of the biggest stories of the summer. Potentially. ...
This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...
Announcers Get Fan's Gender Wrong, Repeatedly
Either no one explained to the Indians announcers how mommies and daddies or different, or they saw the large bosom and Packers shirt and assumed it was your typical Wisconsin man. [h/t Kevin]...
Jennie Finch Retiring From Leisure Activity
She's calling it quits at age 29, even though softball is designed for 50-year-olds. Oh no! Without Finch as a draw, how will we — well, continue not paying attention to professional softball? [AP]...
Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....
<em>Major League</em> Manager Dies
James Gammon—the manager from Major League and a lot of other stuff—died over the weekend after a long battle with cancer. Everybody smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk like him in his honor. [Backstage]...
Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...