e Page 8056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wimbledon Live Blog Devolves Into Poetry And Madness
Xan Brooks is an editor for The Guardian who was tasked with what would appear to be a pleasant two-week assignment: Live blogging Wimbledon. Then Isner-Mahut happened. Come join him on his descent into hell....

Golden Tate's Donut Crimes Becomes Obvious Ad Opportunity
As (sorta) predicted, Top Pot Doughnuts has turned a NFL's player's sugar addiction—and a fortuitous breaking and entering—into marketing gold. [Photo submitted by Seattle reader Jon.]...

Oh, Did We Forget To Mention Lawrence Taylor Was Indicted For Rape Today?
Hey, it was crazy out there today. Sometimes the grand jury hearings of a Hall of Famer accused of raping an underage prostitute just slip through the cracks....

Pirates Display Commitment To Excellence By Re-Hiring Pierogi
After a thorough HR review, the pierogi mascot who was fired for criticizing the team on Facebook has been reinstated to his menial, dehumanizing job. Because if there's one thing the Pirates never let go of, it's talent. [Post-Gazette; Photo]...

How Should We Resolve The Isner-Mahut Stalemate?
If there's one thing we learned today, it's this: John Isner and Nicolas Mahut have exactly the same amount of tennis skill. But that still doesn't solve the problem of how to end their ridiculous grudge match....

Happy America Now Officially Insane, Possibly Jingoist About Soccer (For The Time Being)
Most of our country still hasn't come down from the afternoon spazgasm caused by the dainty foot of Landon Donovan, but remember, bandwagoners, there are people out there ready to scold your joy. Like The Nation....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 23
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner....

Today, We Are All Americans High-Fiving Our Moms
Here's the first of what will probably be many U.S. goal reaction videos, and it's a good one. Whoever you are, arkansasjones, you perfectly captured the national mood when you said, "YEAAAHHYEAAAAAHH GOOAAAAALLLGOOAAALLYESSOOOOHYESSS," and then almost tackled your mom. [H/T Señor Montalban]...

Peter Crouch’s Mum And Dad Attacked By Hungry Baboons
Gangly striker Peter Crouch's parents have been left ‘petrified' after a gang of wild baboons broke into their hotel room at the Sun City resort near England's training camp in Rustenburg....

Bleusballed In Paris: Laughing Along At France's Implosion With The Happily Unhappy French
Whether in a Parisian bar or at the local office of the Association of the Friends of the Paris Commune, Deadspin foreign correspondent John Harpham found the French delighting ever so Frenchily in their national team's disgrace....

Johan Santana Was Accused Of Sexual Assault
A woman claimed Santana raped her on a golf course last October, but charges were never brought. [TMZ]...

Algerian Player Slaps Female Reporter After Match
Rafik Saifi, who came on in the 84th minute — just in time to watch the US win the match — took our his frustrations in the media room by smacking an Algerian journalist right across the mouth....

The Longest Tennis Match Ever Is Happening Right Now (Update: Suspended For Darkness)
John Isner and Nicolas Mahut are currently mired in a fifth-set 46-46 tie; the match is in its seventh hour. ESPN2 just cut back to the World Cup. Follow the action at SBNation or the Guardian's liveblog. Or turn on ESPNU....

World Cup Open Thread: Ghana-Germany
Ghana needs a draw the guarantee advancing. Ironically, the safest bet for Germany is to play for a win and let the rest sort itself out. Follow along and say your favorite thing about both country in the comments....

World Cup Open Thread: Australia-Serbia
The Socceroos have their work cut out for them if they want to advance to the knockout stages. If they even want to start going through all the tie-breaker scenarios, they need to win this game. Comment and follow the action below....

Reader Submits Alleged Post-Coital Photo Of Patrick Kane
Email accompanying this photo circulating around Chicago area: "My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it. Apparently, he was only so-so in bed."...

LeBron Watch, Day 34: The "LeBron Leaves Cleveland" Doomsday Scenario
In a little more than a week, LeBron James could be a Knick. He could be a Bull. And if he is anything but a Cav, the impact on Cleveland could be staggering. One passionate fan's ultimate nightmare scenario for his hometown....

Two Ladies Kissing At A Baseball Game Is Technically A Sports-Related Post
Reader Sean sends along this video of some action in the seats at last night's Dodgers/Angels tilt. Let's all say thank you to Sean....

Here's Video Of Landon Donovan's Winner (Music-Free Update)
In the 91st minute of a 0-0 draw, after a great throw by Tim Howard, Landon Donovan led the attack downfield, culminating in a put back goal by Landycakes himself. Just like that, the USMNT's stay in South Africa was extended....

MediaTakeOut Is <em>Not</em> Your Source For Tennis News
Oh, MediaTakeOut. They have photos of Serena Williams hugging "a mystery Caucasian," and spin it as a possible romance. Problem is, our mystery Caucasian is Andy Roddick. The always on-point MTO commenters are currently taking them to task. [MediaTakeOut]...