e Page 8353 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

Pantless Man-Bird To Lead William and Mary Into Battle
The nation's second-oldest institution of higher learning is named after a hybrid king and queen, so it's only fitting that their new mascot is a hybrid of .. something. Part bird, part lion, all WTF?...

Tiki Barber Pulls A Tom Brady On His Pregnant Wife
Famous people don't just get divorced. They have scandals. Like Tiki Barber who is leaving his wife—who is eight months pregnant (with twins)—for a blonde intern half her age. Now that's a breakup....

Last Night's Winner: Suspense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like women's basketball fans, who experienced their first moment of uncertainty in two years. It only lasted a few minutes, but it sure was spooky....

Okay, Maybe Chris Bosh Wasn't Flopping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Michigan Fan Can't Think Of Any Way To Show His Loyalty Other Than His License Plate
A lawyer and Michigan grad is suing the state for revoking his "WLVRNE" license plate (from his 2003 Corvette, by the way), which they say they had already given to someone else. UM's law school must be so proud. [AP]...

What Did Kevin Durant Want Behind ESPN's Firewall?
This afternoon, Durant put out the call on Twitter for help getting to something on ESPN.com Insider. But what was it that Durant was so excited to read? We have ideas....

Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....

Old Man Favre Becomes A Grandpa
Favre's daughter Brittany gave birth to Parker Brett, who won't make a decision on whether or not to return to the womb until August. [Star Trib]...

Your UConn Looks Mortal Open Thread
That 77-game streak looks to be in jeopardy, as the Huskies trail Stanford 20-12 at the half. (Yes, they are using a shot clock.) Discuss in the comments, if you are so inclined. [Update: UConn wins. Try not to riot.]...

The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....

Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....

McNabb Now Officially A Redskin And The Eagles Are Now Officially Demolished
The longest tenured Philadelphia Eagle right now is safety, Quintin Mikell, who has been with the team since 2003....

Welcome Back, Duke Persecution Complex
At left is the front page of the Charlotte Observer the day after North Carolina won the 2009 national championship. At right, this morning's front page. Dookies, you may now return to your hilariously overblown sense of persecution....

NYC Subway Attacked By Peppy Oregon Students Humming Rick Astley Tune
Yes, the random hobo doo-wop groups shaking bags of change in your face in the subway are a little annoying, but this? I think I'd clap for this....

Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...

One Shining Turd: A Brief Analysis Of How CBS Ruined Its "Moment"
The consensus is that CBS thoroughly murdered basketball's great cornball anthem, "One Shining Moment." Where did they go wrong? Deadspin research reveals that singer Jennifer Hudson logged a full 12 seconds of screen time, a record....

Confused Sideline Reporter Unable To Follow Game He's Covering
SkyTV's Chris Kamara had one job at this weekend's Portsmouth-Blackburn match: Watch the game. And maybe try to pay attention to what happens. He failed miserably on both counts....

When Is This Pussy Gonna Try Coaching Dudes?
It's been in the 80s here in DC this week, which means this is the first time this year I've been able to bust out the shorts. And when you bust out the shorts, that means it is, once again, open season on bareball nut scratching. All winter long, I gotta scratch my nuts by digging into my jeans. NO...

Today In <em>Sportscenter</em> Fashion: Now Showing — Hannah And Her Sisters
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm....