e Page 8417 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Johnson Clogs Buster Olney's Bases
Ken Rosenthal thinks the Red Sox will go Gonzo and that Matt Holliday might consider signing with the Orioles because of God. Buster Olney calls Nick Johnson a "base-clogger," which makes me sad. Read on. HOT FUCKING STOVE....

Rough Season For The Flyers Naturally Leads To Cuckolding Rumors
A season that many thought would be a promising turning point for the Philadelphia Flyers has devolved into a chaotic nightmare of failed playoff dreams. So obviously someone must be banging a teammate's wife, right?...

<em>New York Times</em> Gets A Piece Of The Tiger Action With Its Hysterical PED Story
Tony Galea was arrested in October after a pack of Mounties found HGH and something called Actovegin in his medical bag. Neither, so far as science knows, is a performance-enhancing drug, but people have decided to lose their minds anyway....

NFL Network Can Suffer A Rancid Amputation – Your Christmasaroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....

Your 2009 SHOTY: Tiger Woods
As you would could have guessed, Tiger Woods was the runaway winner of the 2009 Sports Human Of The Year award. Even though his breakthrough came late, it's difficult to argue he didn't earn it....

Decade Retrospective: 2007
We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2007, back when Tommy Craggs was a woman, back when Jack Nicholson was tickling our hearts as The Joker in Tim Burton's Batman. Simple times....

Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....

SI.com Was Wise To Change Its Front-Page Ad
H/T a bunch of you and KSK. [SI.com]...

Chris Henry's Many Rises and Falls
Chris Henry led a life that seemed to be nothing but trouble, but not long after being hailed by friends, teammates and the media for turning that life around, one more tragic mistake ended it....

<em>SI</em> "Out Of Touch" For Mocking <em>Around The Horn</em>, Says Newspaper Columnist Who Fears Computers
You know that swell new show everyone's watching? The one where sportswriters pretend to feel strongly about things on television? No, not The Sports Reporters. Not PTI. The other one. Around the Horn. Well, Bill Plaschke thinks it's totally fresh!...

Chris Henry Passes Away
ESPN, AP, and others are now reporting that Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died around 6:30 this morning from injuries suffered in a car accident. More soon.......

Last Night's Winner: Kobe
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kobe Bryant, who has been in much worse jams than Tiger Woods and he's doing just fine now. Can you sink putts at the buzzer?...

Nope, Kazaam Isn't Any Better In 3D
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore
You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them....

UF Football Not About To Get Any Classier (Update)
Not for nothing have they garnered the "University of Felons" nickname. I'm not saying a top recruit posing with a gun and $16 is necessarily a crime, but it's not going to change any impressions....

Lies, Damned Lies, And Statistics
You'll never guess who John Hollinger's PER says is the best player in the NBA. Normally I'd be giving it away by running his picture, but I'll still bet you have no idea who this is. [Daily Thunder]...

Chris Henry Suffers "Life-Threatening Injuries" In Domestic Dispute/Car Accident (Update)
The Bengals wide receiver was seriously injured today after falling out of the back of a pickup truck driven by his fiancée, with whom he had been arguing....

Metrodome Bathroom Swallows Another Victim
The Metrodome will not let the Twins escape easily, even if it has to trap former Rookies of the Year inside its porcelain bowels for all eternity....
