e Page 9213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Tiger Will Be Up To In Five Years
We don't get into Tiger Woods much around — except to make fun of his facial expressions — mainly because Tiger Woods is, by both design and nature, an intensely boring, robotic character. He wins, and he wins again, and he breaks into a recognizable human emotion every couple of years. This is not ...
Rik Smits And His Tiny Bikes
We have had many thoughts about former Pacers center Rik Smits in our lives — Really. We have. — mostly involving his unique ability to look like the answer to the question: What would happen if aliens could grow mustaches?...
When Good Celery Goes Bad
On Wednesday we brought you the inspiring true story of Mr. Celery, a mascot for the Wilmington, Del. Blue Rocks Single-A baseball club. But across the vast Atlantic, there are also various celery-related incidents in sports. Reader Jeff ("Tonker") reports:...
Blogdome: Screwing Tiger Town
• One fan isn't happy about the Tigers raising their ticket prices so high for the playoffs. [Mickey Tettleton Memorial Overpass] • Tim Duncan hates music. [The Basketball Jones] • B.J. Upton should make all his plays from his ass. [Rays Index] • Carmelo Anthony can do anything in the basketball Wor...
NFL Season Preview: San Francisco 49ers
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
A Board Meeting With LT
Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!...
Baxter Receives Amazingly Quick Justice
You know, we are no experts in the ever-turning wheels of justice ... but man, this Lonny Baxter thing got settled fast, didn't it?...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1:15 p.m. Actor Mark Wahlberg: Of all the people in the history of ESPN chats, you are the least likely to be on time. • 4 p.m. Football scientist KC Joyner: You're mad, doctor! You'll never be abe to put a normal brain into Terrell Ow...
PTI's Devilish Podcast
Ever wonder what "Pardon The Interruption" would sound like if it were hosted by Satan? (Please leave your Dan LeBatard jokes at the door ... if at all possible, anyway.)...
The Wrong Way To Impersonate A Blue Jay
Last night, after the A's victory over the Blue Jays, a fan ran on the field. This will happen from time to time, of course, particularly at the end of a game, after a few Molsons. But see, this fan, he had a special trick in mind: He would be wearing a Blue Jays jersey....
Barlow Apologizes For Dropping H-Bomb On 49ers
You know, you can almost understand why an athlete would drop a Hitler reference so flippantly, without much thought. We mean, do you really think they have spent a lot of time studying the time frame? Do you really believe Kevan Barlow is like, "As a World War II scholar, I understand absolutely ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting for Amazon to just deliver the damned game already ... • IBA World Basketball: The words "Angola" and "triple overtime" just don't seem to go together. And yet ... • MLB: Yankees pummel Mariners behind Chien-Ming Wang. We're calling it for ... ah, not yet. • Soccer: Aja...
Len Pasquarelli Has Had Enough Of Your Silliness
We'd like to thank the folks at Pro Football Talk for finding this clip of ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli appearing on Charlotte sports talk radio, on something called the "Penner and Mac Show." (Honestly, nobody in sports radio has ever been called by their full name; we're still waiting for "The Humbe...
To Watch Tonight
Come on, those chicken nachos aren't going to eat themselves ... • Little League World Series: U.S. semifinal, Illinois vs. Oregon. Who will earn the right to get humiliated by Japan? [ESPN] • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Detroit. Notjinxingtigers ... notjinxingtigers ... notjinxingtigers [ESPN2] • Mot...
Drew Henson, Man Of Many Ugly Hats
Has there ever been an athlete more consistently overconsidered, for such an extended period of time, as Drew Henson? The guy has been all potential, zero performance; he's Ryan Leaf, except he did it in two sports ... and he wasn't very good in college either....
NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Leftovers: So Solich Wasn't Date Raped After All
• Sorry, Solich: Judge says his "I was GHB'd" defense doesn't fly. [Athens Messenger] • Wait, how come nobody cares about THIS horse? [Fox Sports] • The Tigers aren't shy about bumping up their ticket prices, are they? [Detroit News Online] • Cedric Benson is not particularly popular among his teamm...
People Actually Lamer Than Stuart Scott Rip On Stuart Scott
The toolsheds pictured here are members of a "band" called Something To Ponder, and they, uh, do some sort of funk rap folk music, the type of thing that we listen to and ponder, oh, the end of civilization. But that could just be us....
Willie McGinest, Logic Monolith
This picture of new Cleveland Browns defensive end Willie McGinest — by the way, did you realize where Browns training camp was? Berea! — shows him wearing No. 55, the number he has worn since he played for USC more than a decade ago....