ea Page 1202 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Tottenham Honor Wayne Gretzky With Misspelled Jersey
Remember this next time anyone tries to give the average American shit for not knowing who Xavi is or something....
Whole30 Is The Latest Diet Fad, But It Won't Be The Last
People will basically torture themselves in the name of getting slim. But you can’t call it the Torture Diet. So they call it “Paleo” or a “Juice Cleanse,” and bolster it with gimmicky claims about how it’s going to rid your body of toxins and make you a better, healthier, more spiritually balanced ...
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
Mario Balotelli Has Pretty Bad Hair, Scores A Pretty Good Goal
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:...
Report: Kam Chancellor's Coming To Save The Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2, and a big reason why has been the absence of their all-world safety, Kam Chancellor, who has been holding out for a better contract. Well, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter (by way of Stephen A. Smith), Chancellor has given up on his holdout and is headed back to Seattl...
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Deadspin Up All Night: We're All Too Young To Know
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tomorrow is the first day of fall. ...
DeAndre Yedlin Did Something Good Today! USA! USA! USA!
You see that up there? That’s one of those rarest of sights, an American donning the shirt of a (ostensibly at least) top-tier European club. Yes, DeAndre Yedlin made his first ever start for Sunderland today, and he actually did something good, too!...
Bear To Rude Homeowner: Here's Some Shit For Ya
This big-ass brown bear thought he had found himself a nice spot to chill, but then some jabroni with a camera came along and started trouble. The bear tried to defuse the situation with a few dirt slaps, but he was eventually forced to flee, whereupon he stumbled over a bunch of debris and was made...
Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes
Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire....
Jesus Christ, Manuel Neuer, What Are You Doing?
Manuel Neuer had to be so tight standing there at midfield watching that shot, praying it wouldn’t sail into the empty net he had just ran a good 50 yards away from in a crazed and failed attempt to clear the ball. That it didn’t go in goes to show how astounding Florenzi’s wondergoal last week was....
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Know You're There
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin....
Marseille Fans Kind Of Upset With Former Player, Hang Him In Effigy
Mathieu Valbuena starred for French club Marseille for eight long, prosperous seasons before moving on to richer pastures last summer. He was their best player and the crowd favorite for many a year, and when he left for Dynamo Moscow the club retired his number. After one season in Russia, he’s bac...
Reports: Drew Brees's Shoulder Is Messed Up
Drew Brees played quite poorly Sunday as the Saints lost to the Buccaneers, and it might not have just been one bad game. NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport says the Saints believe the 36-year-old quarterback could miss time with a shoulder injury....
Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need
The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choi...
Eagles' Nolan Carroll Tackled An Idiot On The Field
Some drunk asshole ran onto the field during yesterday’s Eagles loss to Dallas. Philly CB Nolan Carroll took him down. The video from NBC DFW photojournalist Noah Bullard:...