Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes

Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire.

You can find his first three goals in the video above. The first one he didn’t have to do much for, barely turning a Thomas Müller pass/shot into the net with an outstretched left foot. Before the Bayern crowd was done chanting his name in celebration of that one, he had already scored again. A couple minutes later he was again wide open in front of the net, and though it took three shots to get the ball over the line, he had a hat trick in just over 180 seconds.

For his fourth, he threw himself into a deflected Douglas Costa cross and pounded it home. The fifth was the prettiest of the bunch, a leaping karate kick-like finish—

—which turned Pep Guardiola into a stunned child:

Despite multiple chances to get his 6th, Lewandowski had to settle for just five on the day. I doubt anyone’s too disappointed.

[Fox Soccer 1]