ea Page 1717 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Portland Man Running For Mayor, Punching Pick-Up Basketball Opponents In The Balls
I should clear something up. Democrat Jefferson Smith (pictured, right)* has denied punching any pick-up basketball opponent in the balls. His opponent yelled "You just punched me in the balls!" and Smith replied "I punched you in the thigh, not the balls." So, in the interest of fair and balanced c...
Baseball Writers Of America: "It's Hot"
A little advice to aspring sports writers: if it's hot at the baseball game you're covering, mention it in the lead. No matter what—even if the heat affected both teams equally, or not at all—don't let three paragraphs go by without pointing out how hot it was. You were there. It was hot. The people...
Canada Beats United States In Football, Local Weekend Guy Defensively Sneers At Canada
Oooh Canada, you think you're so big and tough with your two straight victories over American, likely Division-I recruit high school players, don't you? Well guess what? You're still from Canada and say "eh" all the time, so stuff it. When did you guys have time to learn football between all the ic...
Deadspin Up All Night: Keep On Laughing
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Get nuts tonight, huh?...
Cherry-Pit Spitting Contest Makes For Great Copy
This is a great article for a sweaty Saturday evening. It's short, sweet and absolutely absurd. Let's start with the headline:...
Watch Eric Gordon Slowly Back Away From Reporters While Giving World's Most Awkward Interview
Yesterday we told you about poor Eric Gordon's desperate quest to get out of New Orleans, despite the fact that the Hornets will almost certainly match the Phoenix Suns' four-year, $58 million offer sheet....
Ray Allen Leaves Boston Just As He Found It: In Shambles
Last night Ray Allen told Miami Heat officials that he will be accepting their "mini mid-level" contract offer of about $3 million. Boston is reacting with its usual restrained dignity. He's now being called a traitor or Judus. (Funny story about Ray Allen: he was once in a movie and played a guy c...
Deadspin Up All Night: Mass Hysteria
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay hydrated with Sean and Tim and Tom and Kate and Isaac this weekend....
Eric Gordon Really, Really Wants Out Of New Orleans
The Hornets guard is in Las Vegas, vying for a spot on the Olympic team, and he's telling anyone who will listen just how much he'd rather play in Phoenix than New Orleans. Coincidentally, he just agreed to a four-year, $58 million offer sheet with the Suns!...
Minor League Mascot Placed On DL With Third-Degree Costume Burns
Uncle Slam, mascot for the Class A Potomac Nationals, was placed on the 60-day disabled list and will miss the remainder of the season. The release, from the baby Nats:...
Tom Cruise Vs. Werner Herzog And Adventures In Perilous White People Tourism: It's Time For Trailer Hitch
The summer movie world is in a bit of a lull right now: Spider-Man showed up in time for July 4, Savages sneaked in just under the "Blake Lively Being Double Teamed-Themed Festivus Day" holiday wire and now everyone's slowing their roll for a couple of weeks until The Dark Knight Rises opens. Which ...
Dead Letters: Italy Unifies And Declares War On Barry Petchesky
Because it’s a holiday week, we’ve got a special edition of Dead Letters for you. It’s all the angry tweets Italians sent Deadspin staff writer Barry Petchesky after he published “Italy Beats Germany In Soccer, Vulgar Newspaper Headlines” on June 29. The Italians apparently took special exception to...
That Yankees Cologne Is Apparently A Huge Hit
Remember the Yankees cologne? The one that our fragrance experts described as a "the Justin Bieber of scents?" The one that they also complained was far too expensive. It's a hit. Per Sports Business Daily:...
Discussion Discussion: Of Math And Commenting
OK, various malcontents, you've finally broken us down, and we're going to admit something deeply uncomfortable. Here it is:...
The 76ers Will Release Elton Brand, Claim First Place In The "Saddest Offseason Maneuver" Rankings
Yesterday, we asked you to join us in a discussion on what NBA offseason move has been the saddest. At the time, Rashard Lewis being traded for Emeka Okafor and Trevor Ariza held the top spot in the Sadness Rankings, but that was quickly surpassed by the Knicks signing Jason Kidd....
Brandon Roy Comes Out Of Retirement To Play For The Minnesota Timberwolves
Brandon Roy was, not so long ago, one of the NBA's premier players. He was a smooth-handling shooting guard who could pass, nail step-back jumpers, and explode to the rim with surprising athleticism. It seemed all but certain that Roy would become one of the defining players of this era, taking a s...
Instagram Photos From The Brooklyn Cyclones' "Williamsburg Night"
It was Williamsburg Night at MCU Park, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones, a hipster-friendly mashup of the usual minor league quirkiness and a particular local flair. (And probably super-familiar for attendees, since they all moved to Brooklyn from the Midwest three years ago, amirite?) Among the promot...
Miami Fox Affiliate Breathlessly Reports Heat Signing Of Ray Allen They Learned From A Fake Twitter Account
Ray Allen is indeed in Miami talking over a possible deal to sign with the Heat, but the contract's far from signed. Don't tell Miami's Fox affiliate WSVN that, though, as they interrupted tonight's newscast to deliver the breaking news that Allen had signed a three-year, $11 million contract....
This Mets Fan Who Took A Nasty Tumble On Live TV Earns A Yellow Card For Diving [UPDATE]
As SNY went to break after the top of the seventh of tonight's Phillies-Mets matchup at Citi Field, cameras caught one mets fan taking a tumble and sending his beer cups flying. We all got a good laugh out of it—as did the SNY announcers—but a closer inspection reveals it was all staged. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Do It Again
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Malinowski's on deck. Back at it tomorrow....