ea Page 1935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lady At Cavs Game Confused By LeHomophone
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Red Moon Rising On The Cuyahoga River" Heat-Cavs Open Thread
The third-place team in the NBA's Southeast Division is playing the third-place team in the Central. There are apparently some interesting storylines here. Discuss....

Heat Strokes, Game 19: The LeBrorschach
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Unfortunately, Jameson Does Not Come In Juice Box Form. Yet.
This image, a screen-grab of veteran character actor Tommy Flanagan enjoying a Jameson booze box during this week's season finale of Sons of Anarchy is causing a relative stir, in part because such a booze box cannot be purchased....

Miami Heat Plane Has Mechanical Problem Landing In Cleveland
The Heat charter flight experienced plane trouble on its approach to Cleveland early this morning. Sure, if surface-to-air missiles are "plane trouble." [AP]...

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen Vs. No. 7 The Machine
Our lone upset in the quarterfinals was a big one: The Machine edged out LeBron James, dropping the No. 2 seed. No. 3 Karen F. Owen defied Bodog's odds and sadly took out Dude Being Blown By A Dog. Alas....

LeBronageddon Is Upon Us
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Is Hiring
As some of you may have heard, there are big, scary changes happening all across the Gawker MEDIA network, including here. In the spirit of big, scary change, we hope to add some staff to the Deadspin masthead in 2011....

Dan Gilbert Is Going To Boil Someone's Bunny
Per Adrian Wojnarowski, recording secretary of the LeBron Jersey-Burning and Chowder Society: The Cavs "have poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into a high-powered Midwestern law firm" to investigate whether the Heat broke tampering rules while pursuing LeBron James. [Yahoo!]...

The Official Cavs Fan Guide To Taunting LeBron
Yeah, we know, these things rarely work. But we wouldn't endorse these suggested Cavs fans chants for tomorrow's game if they weren't clever and/or funny. Show some heart, Cleveland. [Cavs Chants]...

Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...

Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 1 Brett Favre Vs. No. 4 Jay Mariotti
We've reached the SHOTY Semifinals. Brett Favre left Ines Sainz in arrears, and Jay Mariotti oozed Jason Whitlock's pumpkin. Now, for the nitty-gritty....

Telestrator Dong And Balls Run The Triangle Offense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joakim Noah Went Into A Steam Room With John Elway And Lived To Tell The Tale
During the Bulls annual "Circus Trip," two important events took place that may chart the course for the rest of the team's season: they shared Thanksgiving dinner together as a team, and Joakim Noah shared a hotel steam room with John Elway....

Bruce Pearl Gets In Amusing Zinger On "Dumbass" Lane Kiffin
Pearl, on his suspendable offenses: "I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook. I miss Lane Kiffin." [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

Man Arrested For Kicking Police Horse Outside Texans Game
A Houston man was arrested Sunday for kicking a police horse outside of Reliant Park, thereby making Andre Johnson's beatdown of Cortland Finnegan the second most lopsided physical altercation in Texas that day....

Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater: Barry Sanders
Welcome to Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater. Today's entry: Lions great Barry Sanders set to Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet's overture from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack....

"Dude Getting Blown By A Dog" Gets Surprising Odds In 2010 SHOTY Awards
Bodog.com summoned one of its bookmakers to analyze the favorites for this year's ridiculous little Sports Human of the Year competition. They are listed after the jump. This for entertainment purposes only. I think....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen vs. No. 6 Dude Getting Blown By Dog
Oh, if only the dog of Joel Monaghan's Canberra Raiders teammate had somehow made it into Duke. In the interests of research, anyway ......