ea Page 2016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your USA-Canada Open Thread
To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments....
Steve Alford, Sore Winner: Curses Out Opposing Player
On one hand, you'd like coaches to stop treating players like children. On the other hand, maybe Alford shouldn't be calling college students "assholes" in the handshake line. Especially with a camera two feet away....
Telestrator Dong: Horribly Insensitive Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Let's End The Day By Watching An Arsenal Player Break His Leg
Yeah, this is bad. Aaron Ramsey's right ankle pretty much disintegrates right before your eyes after being taken out by "X-rated Ryan Shawcross" whatever that means....
The One Where The South Korean Speedskate Lady Grabs Her Coach's Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Stories That Don't Suck: T.K. On Rick Barry, Do You Believe In Headshrinking?, Norm, Taibbi Goes Gonzo
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Even Monkeys Go To Rehab
Yes, unless this report comes from an Onion-style Russian newspaper, it appears a monkey hooked on alcohol and cigarettes has been sent to rehab. The world is a vampire. [Montreal Gazette]...
Your USA-Finland Open Thread
The only thing that stands between us and a gold medal rematch with the Canadians is Finland, the Canada of Europe. Try out your umlauts and doubled vowels in the comments....
Tailpipe: "He Didn't Seem The Least Bit Interested In Hugging Her Curves"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Fire Woman, YOU’RE TO BLAME! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
David Geffen Knows This Song Is About Him (UPDATE)
Carly Simon has apparently revealed the subject of "You're So Vain," and it's David Freaking Geffen, who is gay. (Um, "wife of a close friend"?) Better him than Cat Stevens, I guess. (UPDATE: Or not!) [The Sun, via UkraineNotWeak]...
The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Devin Hester Hasn't Heard About Sea World Yet
Not that an athlete forgetting to watch the 10 o'clock news is newsworthy in and of itself, but Devin Hester's blissful unawareness of yesterday's Sea World happening is delightful in its own strange way....
You're With Me, Meme
Flip to page 195 of this month's GQ. You'll find a spread in which everyone's favorite Bermanism appears atop Topher Grace's crotch. And thus "You're With Me, Leather" becomes one of many viral sensations to spread to smarmy Hollywood wang....
Calm, Sober Man Explains Why He Fought Crazy Veteran On A City Bus
Even losing the world's most famous YouTube fight won't stop anyone from making the most of their 15 minutes. (And not in the way you'd expect.) Maybe Jerry Jones should host the rematch. [YouTube]...
Here's An Email I Sent To Jason Whitlock That Apparently Makes Me Look Crazy
Next time, I'll type slower and send it from my iPhone. [TheSportsHernia]...
NFL Players Care Deeply About Health Reform, At Least To The Extent That It Affects Their Love Lives
NFL players have a health-reform lobbyist, though he remains "foggy" about what they want. Players are apparently concerned with "how cash from their health reiumbursement account is split in the case of divorce." Put that on a picket sign. [CPI]...
Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....
Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...