ea Page 2135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Another Unfortunate High Five-Related Injury
Being a white guy isn't easy, my friends. We can't dance, there's nothing but Coldplay on our iPods, and when we try to high-five during sporting events, there are often tragic results. Witness these Cowboy fans on Monday night, trying to celebrate following a routine pass completion in the second q...
The Birdacity Of Hope Is What Helps Us Make It Through The Night
I am exhausted. Utterly, completely, wiped.I have been away from Philadelphia for what seems like years and living out of a suitcase. I am down one pair of underwear thanks to the damn figs and now on my last pair of reasonably clean clothes. (Ones that will only require two spritzes of Febreeze for...
Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...
Surprise, Surprise: Terrell Owens is Once Again Acting Childish
The 2004 season in which Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens teamed up to lead the Philadelphia Eagles to their first Super Bowl since 1980 was one of the greatest seasons my maligned city has seen in decades. Terrell Owns was a huge part of that and was beloved for it … before his real lunacy started ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...
Guzman-Campbell Reportedly Called Off
Boxingscene.com is reporting that tonight's Showtime main event between Nate Campbell and Joan Guzman has been called off. Earlier Guzman failed to make the 135 pound weight limit, leading to reports that the two would fight without the Campbell's titles at stake. What's especially odd about the sit...
Mom Allegedly Steals Daughter's Identity, Becomes 15-Year-Old Cheerleader
First, a note: GARRETT GUZMAN, YOU STAY RIGHT OUT OF THIS POST, MISTER. With that out of the way, let's discuss Miss Wendy Brown of Green Bay, WI. Her 15-year-old daughter lives with Wendy's own mother in Nevada for reasons that will readily become apparent. In an attempt to reclaim her own lost you...
Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Shea Stadium Is Going Out Of Business; Everything Must Go!
Not since Cosmo Kramer fished the entire Merv Griffin talk show set out of a dumpster has there been a bigger opportunity than this: The Shea Stadium Memorabilia Auction. I know you've always wanted your very own Mets dugout, and now is your chance: Starting bid $100,000. How about Moises Alou's loc...
Twelve-Year-Old Girl Kicked Off Boys' Basketball Team For Being Too Good
Oh man, those boys on that basketball team are done. Jaime Nared is a 12-year-old, 6-foot, 1-inch basketball player from outside Portland, OR. She's just finished sixth grade and she's now playing with a girls high school traveling team because she's too good to play with girls her own age. Perhaps ...
Red Bull and Vodka Fueled High Jumper To Be Suspended for a Year?
Last week, we brought you the story of Ivan Ukhov, the high jumper whose drunken jump has exploded on the internets. More than a million people have watched the you tube video which we've handily relinked for you below. Now comes news that mother Russia is not pleased with him. In fact, they're ang...
Beanie Wells Now Doubtful for USC Game
As the biggest game in the history of mankind inches closer still, Wells practiced for the first time since his injury against Youngstown State on Wednesday. Unfortunately that practice left him so sore he was unable to practice on Thursday morning. Just a few minutes ago, Jim Tressel pronounced hi...
Adam Jones Books His Reservation For Bulletin Boards In St. Louis And Philadelphia In One Shot
When the Philadelphia Eagles take on the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night, it's a game that is always entertaining because of how much Philadelphians despise the Cowboys. It's unhealthy, but it's one of those things that Philadelphians are saddled with the second they're spat out of their mother's wom...
Lance Armstrong Is Ready To Return To Prominence, All Nude And Wet
Vanity Fair was forced to release their October Lance Armstrong story much earlier than they wanted to, thanks to the leaked stories about the 7-time Tour de France winner's pending return popping up online. The story is a long, personalized feature written by Douglas Brinkley, a native Texan, who ...
Shawne Merriman Decides Playing With A Mangled Knee Might Not Be The Best Idea For A Long Career
“It felt good,” linebacker Shawne Merriman said of his left knee. “But with that adrenaline going, you never really know. Over the next couple of days, I'll assess how I feel. As of right now, I'm getting ready for Game 2.” That's what Shawne Merriman said Sunday, after the Chargers lost to the Caro...
MLS Player Breaks Leg on Backflip Celebrating an Offsides Goal
Fabian Espindola plays for Real Salt Lake of the MLS. His patented move, or so I'm told, is a backfilp after he scores goals. Just six minutes into the game against the LA Galaxy, Espindola scored an apparent goal off a header and began his celebration. There were only two problems: first he was of...
NFL Season Previews (Redux): The New York Jets
So, we already completed all of our NFL Season Previews. Due to people's busy schedules,there was a wait for many of them, which is completely understandable. I'm grateful to all of those people who contributed. And a special thank you is extended to those individuals who did a last minute turn-arou...
Mark Richt Says ESPN "Didn't Do Their Homework" On Knowshon Moreno Run
In case you haven't seen Knowshon Moreno's run against Central Michigan, it's linked after the jump and, despite ESPN's failure, over 100,000 fans have already found their way to the play. Georgia fans (and their coach) are up in arms over ESPN's perceived slight to their Heisman Trophy candidate. ...
NFL Season Preview: Oakland Raiders
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, o...