ea Page 2180 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sean Avery Closer
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....

About Last Night
What you missed while battling the Rodents of Unusual Size ... • NFL: Vikings win 20-13, oust Bears from playoff hunt. Mini-Ditka still alive, however. • NBA: Suns beat Spurs, and to add insult to injury they do it while wearing those funky orange-and-gray uniforms. • NHL: Red Wings beat Capitals 4-...

We Still Have Faith
Don't worry, Kyle: You're always a winner in our book....

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...

Joe Buck Verbally Gropes Jessica Simpson. Eww.
The one question that needed to be asked and wasn't: What's the worse fashion mistake: Simpson's pink No. 9, or Laura Quinn's half jersey? Please vote now....

Year In Review: May
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with May. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature somethin...

He's Baaaaaaaaaaack!
If it were up to me I would not be reposting this. I find 'Nightmare Ant' creepy, intimidating and more than a little demonic. But the truth is, I have very little control over this site anymore. Neither does Will. Yeah, it's 'Nightmare Ant' calling the shots now. And if 'Nightmare Ant' wants his ph...

Pity Poor Roger Clemens
• We remind you to keep the submissions coming for the ESPN Accountability Record. • How long is 23 months in dog years? • That bitchin' ESPN holiday party. • An outstanding Jamboroo that you might have missed in all the Mitchell Report business. • Oh, yes: That. • We hate "guarantees." • Rick Reill...

Inmate Sues Schrutebag For "Ear Poisoning"
We know we said that we weren't gonna mention the Schrutebag anymore. But we're afraid circumstances today make it impossible to avoid. We apologize....

Who'll Be The Next Playmate Of The Year?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next four Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FOUR left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

We're Finished!
Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people....

Hey Kids! It's The Deadspin Crossword Puzzle!
If you know this site, then you know that we're all about puzzles. And what better way to shake off the Mitchell Report Blues than to tackle a crossword? Yes, it's the first Deadspin Crossword Puzzle, and it appears after the jump. And the great part is that you helped create it. All of those Deadsp...

Year In Review: April
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with April. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...

Last Chance To Buy Outdated T-Shirt
Anyone who has been annoyed — read: us — by the odd advertisements for Gawker Media T-shirts over the last month is in luck: The Gawker Shop is closing down, and you won't be bothered again. This also means this is your last chance to buy that "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirt before it vanishes for...

Brian Sabean Knows, Sees, Tells Nothing
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Year In Review: March
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with March. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...

SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn
UPDATE: Poll is now fixed. Sorry about that. Only in this deranged universe of ours could these two human beings compete against each other in anything. One thing they do have in common: Neither has ever thrown an NFL pass....

Knicks Keep On Falling ...
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or trying to find Schenectady, NY on a map, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

All Kyle Orton, All The Time
Just for fun, in honor of his start this Sunday, here are some more random photos of Deadspin Hall Of Famer Kyle Orton. We know, it's impossible not to find these, but nevertheless: We just can't get enough. These were taken in Paris, which proves Orton's going international. Go Kyle: Give 'em hel...

Discussing "The Agony Of Victory"
We love books. Books are fun. They're so full of booky goodness. And because we don't have time to read and write about every sports book, we've corralled three regular Deadspinners to continue the Deadspin Book Club, discussions of current sports books. (Previously, they did Running The Table.) You...