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The True Essence Of Every TMQ Column
This was so inevitable that we can't believe it took them so long: The gang at Kissing Suzy Kolber have finally gotten around to mocking Gregg Easterbrook. Some comedic highlights:...

Always Beware When There Are Bears
The concept was a pleasant, make-the-world-a-better-place one; after the first goal scored by the Minnesota-Duluth hockey team, fans were to throw teddy bears on the ice. The bears would then be collected and given to needy children (in lieu of food, apparently). But then it all went wrong....

Year In Review: February
We're reviewing each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We call it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature something for the last year that we might overlook, email us at [email protected] with s...

NFL Roundup: What The Hell Got Into The Saints?
News And Notes From Week 14 In The NFL ......

Sunday Night Football: Exploring The Parcells/Payton Relationship
Congratulations to NBC for managing to find two worthwhile teams in the NFC... they might be the only two. The 8-4 Saints travel to Dallas to take on the 8-4 Cowboys tonight, and there are storylines aplenty....

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed
I missed this during yesterday's Premiership coverage, which necessitates doubling up on the amount of soccer posts this weekend. Many of you, I'm sure, hate this. And I'm sorry. But Portsmouth's Matt Taylor did something yesterday that is not normal, and I don't think we should ignore it....

Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Bengals Shackled, Seven Swans-A-Swimming...
Desperate to up the total with the new year looming, Bengals cornerback Deltha O'Neal has become the 8th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested this calendar year. That has to be an NFL record... and now they're just being greedy and trying to put it completely out of reach for anyone else. There are only...

Week In Deadspin: The Ballad Of Ron Herpes
• Calling himself "Ron Herpes" probably would have defeated the point. • David Hirshey takes on Bill Simmons. (Kind of.) • ESPN is down with independent films. One might almost call them underground! • Tony LaRussa is ACTING! • You know what's awesome? The BCS! • Ali Rap is bullocks. • USC just ha...

Do We Laugh Now, Or Wait Until It Gets Funny?
We picked you for the job, not because we think you're so damn smart, but because we thought you were a shade less dumb than the rest of the outfit. Guess we were wrong. You're not smarter, Walter. You're just a little taller....

Year In Review: January
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." Well, we're gonna do that again, starting today, with the fine month of January. We're digging through our archives pretty well, b...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Stephen A. Smith
All right: Time for the next step in the Elite Eight. This thing is gonna fly by now, by the way; the final two Elite Eight matchups will be next week, and then it's Final Four time, and then, jeez, then this whole virtual construction is completed. To remind you, here's the bracket (Berman's got a ...

Does This Mean No Halftime Show?
And suddenly, "Malice at the Palace" seems so childishly innocent. Several police officers and fans were injured Wednesday during a huge brawl at a Serbian professional basketball game, as rival fans went at it before tipoff. The Serbs; they know how to party....

Saints' Wheezer Nailed For Inhaler Doping
The poor soul unfortunate enough to have been caught in the extreme closeup lens of a Getty Images photographer last week, seen here, is New Orleans Saints defensive tackle Hollis Thomas, who yesterday was suspended for four games by the NFL for violating its steroid policy....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Matt Leinart
At last: The first round is over, and we have our eight winners. For all the talk of potential upsets and the supposed mis-seeding of certain competitors, there was only one first round "upset": Stephen A. Smith took down Ozzie Guillen, and that was a shaky seed in the first place....

You Say Seymour, We Say Pusey, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
In July, we told you about Lucious Pusey, freshman linebacker for Eastern Illinois University. We also mentioned that he had petitioned to legally change his name to Lucious Seymour, an instinct we absolutely understand....

Jeff Garcia Cannot Be Destroyed By A Mortal Man
From our experience, when Jeff Garcia is making this motion, and he's about to chuck it long and downfield, something bad is about to happen. We mean, it's Jeff Garcia! The last few years, his main purpose has been to be the target of Terrell Owens' sublimated man-on-man urges....

Amazingly, This Is Actually An Important NFC Game
As insane as it might be to contemplate, the Philadelphia Eagles, a team that seemingly hasn't won in months, a team that is legitimately trying to figure out if they're going to start Jeff Garcia or A.J. Feeley, a team that its fans can't even muster up enough enthusiasm to hate properly ... this t...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Barbaro Vs. Lamar Thomas
All right, we know this is supposed to just run Tuesdays and Thursdays, but we decided that we were too eager to finally get this first round overwith so we can start the second round tomorrow. (SI's curious pick of Mr. Wade made us decide to speed up the process a bit.) So, this is the final first ...

Perhaps She Has Chosen The Wrong Collegiate Extracurricular Activity
The M Zone takes a moment away from screaming at the heavens and cursing Allah to bring us this video, from the USC-UCLA game Saturday — way to step up, Trojans, by the way — and the famous Unable To Figure Out When Is, In Fact, The Correct Time To Cheer cheerleader. She has a tendency to strike dur...

NFL Roundup: The Steamrolling Saints And Jets
News And Notes From Week 13 in the NFL....