eh Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Did Julio Urias Commit A Balk When He Picked Off Bryce Harper?
Julio Urias got out of the fifth inning of tonight’s game against the Nationals with a brilliant pickoff of Bryce Harper. He spent most of Jayson Werth’s at-bat trying to get Bryce Harper out at first, and after a few tries, he finally got him. ...
LAPD Detective Investigating Derrick Rose Rape Case Found Fatally Shot
A Los Angeles Police Department employee who died yesterday has been identified as 44-year-old Nadine Hernandez, a member of the Robbery-Homicide Division Special Assault Section and one of two detectives investigating the rape allegations against Derrick Rose....
The Cleveland Browns Are A Sick Joke
In the process of getting whooped by the Patriots today, the Browns cycled through three quarterbacks. It feels like every week, you hear that the Browns have hit a new low, and again, this week, the Browns hit a new low....
They Let Phil Kessel Visit The White House
The Pittsburgh Penguins brought the Stanley Cup to the White House today, and Phil Kessel took time out of his empty schedule to stop by. He’s had a nice, relaxing offseason....
What Is The White House Hiding About Clowns?
The clowns amongst us have organized and entered into the formal blood pact known as Clown Purge. Our streets run red with novelty foam noses. Our horny teens, too terrified to hook up in cemeteries. It’s only natural that, in these times of crisis, we look to our Commander-in-Chief for answers. And...
Ben Simmons Fractures A Bone In His Foot
Philadelphia 76ers number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons has fractured “the fifth metatarsal bone of his right foot,” the team announced. The injury was suffered when he rolled his ankle while scrimmaging earlier today, and the team didn’t announce a projected recovery timeline....
The Dolphins Do Everything Wrong
Let’s check in on the Dolphins after last night’s walk through a field of banana peels, shall we?...
Woof, Ryan Tannehill
I will come clean and admit that there was a time, not even two years ago, when I thought Ryan Tannehill was going to be a very good NFL quarterback. I have submitted my resignation to Tim Marchman, and will step down as a sports writer-abouter if it’s accepted....
Jeb: It's Rude To Hear My Old Dad Say Things
Jeb Bush, a man who insists he owns multiple sweaters and also loves saltines, is furious. But why is our mild-mannered boy so enraged? Because someone heard his very old dad talk....
Send Us Your College Roommate Horror Stories
At the risk of doomsaying like some David Brooksian “kids these days” reactionary luddite, it must be said: College now seems crueler than ever before....
Urban Sprawl Or Housing Crisis? Neither, Thanks.
Urban sprawl is bad. Not having enough housing to meet demand is also bad. It now appears that reconciling these two things may be harder than we thought. But not impossible!...
Evil Person Ruins Lionel Messi's Career In Video Game
One of the chief appeals of the much-beloved video game series Football Manager is seeing how this meticulously-researched game that goes to absurd lengths for realism forecasts the future, and how you, by way of your invented manager avatar, can affect that future. Usually, gamers accomplish this t...
Soccer Man Gets Extremely Hyped About This Dope Thing He Just Did
It’s not often that defenders are the architects of highlight reel-quality plays, and seeing as an acrobatic goal-line clearance is basically the defensive equivalent of a golazo for an attacker, it makes sense that Bursaspor’s Aziz Behich was super pumped after pulling off this amazing feat:...
Stan Wawrinka And Juan Martin Del Potro Both Beat The Sad Tennis Ball
Well after 1 a.m. in Queens this morning, Stan Wawrinka defeated Juan Martin del Potro in four sets, but the real loser was every tennis ball in play. The quarterfinal match pitted two of the sport’s most violent groundstrokes against one another and admittedly, all that violence is pretty to look a...
Pregnant Lauren Holiday To Undergo Brain Surgery; Husband Jrue To Miss Start Of NBA Season
Former U.S. Women’s National Team midfielder Lauren Holiday, who is pregnant, will have brain surgery to remove a benign tumor sometime later this year, the Times-Picayune reported. Her husband, New Orleans Pelicans starting point guard Jrue Holiday, will miss an indeterminate amount of the season c...
How's Former Speaker John Boehner Doing?
If you google Paul Ryan right now, the first two headlines that come up are “House Conservatives Plot Coup Against Speaker Paul Ryan” and “5 Points on the Nightmare Paul Ryan Faces Even If The GOP Keeps The House.” Which is not ideal if you’re Paul Ryan. Google John Boehner, however, and you’ll find...
High School Player Scores Insane Front-Flip Goal, But It Doesn't Count<em></em>
A key part of the majesty of sports is watching the human body confront unique problems and, within the confines of the sport’s rules and the constraints of what is physically possible, solve them on the fly with a feat of athletic genius. This is what makes Columbine high schooler Dylan Prichett-Et...
Look At Bryce Harper
Maybe this is weird to say, but I don’t think any player in baseball is as visually captivating as Bryce Harper. The home runs and helmet-ditching sprints from home to second—all produced by that loopy, torquing swing of his—are an easy sell, but there’s also just something about the way Harper look...
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
Katie Ledecky Turned Bryce Harper Into A Medal Rack
Strong-as-hell swimming champion Katie Ledecky is from Washington D.C., and the Nationals invited her to come throw the first pitch tonight before their game against the Orioles. She arrived, as well she should, decked out in all five of her recently-acquired Olympic medals. Thankfully, Bryce Harper...