el Page 1436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Diego Maradona Can't Decide Whether To Defend Or Bash Lionel Messi
Lionel Messi failed to drag Argentina to the title in yet another major international tournament, giving his countrymen another shot to break out the bats and partake in what is now looking like the real Argentine national pastime: beating up on Messi’s reputation. As has been typical of the man’s h...

Let's Laugh At The Lakers' Awful Summer League Performance
Tonight the Los Angeles Lakers came out against the Knicks with a performance for the ages: a first quarter featuring seven turnovers, six fouls, and five points. Your future, Lakers fans, is apparently getting dominated by a certain Latvian. ...

This Dude's Russell Westbrook Impression Is Spectacular
Yeah, this is pretty much dead on:...

You're Never Safe When Billy Hamilton Is On Base
I’m not sure what compelled Billy Hamilton to make this ballsy play during Saturday’s game against the Marlins—maybe when you steal as many bases as he does, you get bored and and have to find new ways to challenge yourself—but I sure am glad that he went for it:...

Marshawn Lynch May Be The Best Kickball Player Ever
Here we have some video of Marshawn Lynch playing kickball at a charity barbecue event in Oakland. And holy hell, I have absolutely no clue where Lynch’s first kick ends up! He kicks the ball so hard it appears to vanish into thin air. On his second kick, Lynch opted for a more traditional home run,...

Lawler Retains Belt After Bloody Slugfest
Robbie Lawler will keep his UFC welterweight title after a brutal bout against Rory MacDonald that made it to the fifth round before the challenger finally conceded due to extreme face rearrangement—punctuated by the above-seen punch....

Joel Embiid Likely To Miss Upcoming Season After Foot Surgery
Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid is likely to miss the 2015-2016 season, according to Keith Pompey of The Philadelphia Inquirer. Embiid is scheduled to have surgery in his right foot, which caused him to miss all of last season. ...

USA Score, Finally, As Dempsey Puts Yanks Up 1-0 On Haiti
A thus-far uninspired performance by the U.S. has, at least, resulted in a goal and once again it’s Clint Dempsey who scored to put his side up 1-0 on Haiti in tonight’s Gold Cup match at the Patriots’ stadium in Foxborough. Let’s not let Deuce take all the credit, though he’s certainly earned it th...

White Sox Complete Extremely Stupid Double Play
This double play to close the third in Chicago today is just like White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson: famous for being awful. (Fortunately for the White Sox, the Cubs managed to be even more awful at baserunning during the 9-2-6 double play.)...

Is Refusing A Breathalyzer Test Ever Smart?
Welcome to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Keep in mind that this is general information, and not formal legal advice or legal representation; if you need any of that, you should get it from a lawye...

At The Sports Brand Awards, Brands Tell A Story About Telling Stories
When I walked into Cipriani on 42nd St.—a gorgeous Manhattan event space highlighted by stone archways, Greek columns, and ceilings higher than those of a Renaissance cathedral’s—on Wednesday night, I was greeted by a bank of MacBooks, each manned by a well-dressed young person, their faces glowing ...

Goalkeeper Just Throws The Ball Into His Own Net
Your first impulse after watching this debacle is probably to cry “Match fixing!” but to paraphrase an old saying, never attribute to corruption that which can be adequately explained by ineptitude. Throw it or hold it, don’t try to do both at once....

DeAndre Jordan Hurt Chandler Parsons's Feelings. Hurt 'Em Real Bad, Bro.
Nobody was more instrumental to the Mavericks’ courtship of DeAndre Jordan than Chandler Parsons. Dallas’ small forward was attached to Jordan’s hip throughout the free-agency period, reportedly taking the big man out to dinner five nights in a row and wooing him with talk of MVP awards and All-Star...

Fat Guy Touchdown Alert!
It’s always big news in these parts when a Fat Guy scores a touchdown, and it happened tonight in the CFL as Ottawa defensive lineman Zack Evans came away with a ball out of Edmonton’s QB Matt Nichols’s hand and took it 65 yards to the maison. It’s not much consolation for the Redblacks, who are get...

How The Hell Did Evan Gattis Turn This Pitch Into A Home Run?
Getting the bat on a shoulder-high pitch is one thing, but what Evan Gattis did to this Trevor Bauer fastball last night boggles the mind:...
![Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1333104085409666407.png)
Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]
One of the more hilarious things to come out of the DeAndre Jordan Hostage Crisis of 2015 was the work of always-wrong ESPN doofus/bigot Chris Broussard, a grossly stupid man and bad reporter....

Oh, Canada
Canada settled for a scoreless draw in Gold Cup action against El Salvador in Carson last night, but only because Orlando City striker and #1 MLS overall pick Cyle Larin blew a wide open shot on goal in the first half. What a pity....

It Was A Crazy Night, But DeAndre Jordan Re-Signed With The Clippers
One of the most bizarre free agencies in NBA history is set to draw to a close, and the ending is definitely the weirdest part about it....

A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...

Here Are Some Athletes You Should Bone Instead Of Cristiano Ronaldo
The consensus view is that Portuguese soccer mega-star Cristiano Ronaldo, currently being a weird brand robot in Japan, is not just a good-looking and sexy athlete, but perhaps the best-looking, the sexiest male athlete. But nah. His facial features are too small, his eyebrows too sculpted, his chin...